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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

10.04.2008

Enough Light to Laugh a Little

Mike has tolerated having the Epidural capped off today and is now on his regular dose of pain pills, although he is a little uncomfortable. They believe the blood pressure problem has been worse because of the Epidural, but Mike has tried to explain he had that before the surgery. We still haven't heard back from the cardiologist yet. This evening he gets to have a regular diet, so he is really looking forward to that.

Mike ran a temperature overnight and they have put him back on Levaquin and have ran some tests (chest xray, blood cultures, etc.). The fever went away before he began the antibiotic, so that is baffling them a little. One of his surgeons this morning said Mike could stay as long as he feels he needs to, in the hospital. I guess Mike felt a little hurried and didn't feel ready to leave just yet.

I spent the morning and first part of the afternoon with Mike, then returned to my room to do some laundry. I think I still didn't accomplish the best packing job. Mike has plenty of clothes that he isn't using, and well....I'm about ready to wear his! :)

I wanted to share a funny story with you after so much seriousness the past few days. On Wednesday morning after the surgery, Mike was still in recovery, which they kept him at overnight. He had a button he could push if he had any pain. So Amber and I are standing there talking with him, asking him how well he had slept, and he was complaining to us that he had a miserable nights sleep with so much noise going on and nurses coming in and out. At the same time as he is explaining this, he is rubbing his left thigh and complaining that it has fallen asleep. So, I'm a little distracted by that and was telling him I thought we should let the nurse know. He didn't want me to do that, so he kept rubbing it and then tried to lift his leg up. He couldn't. So, finally a pain management doctor came by asking Mike if he had been in a lot of pain last night and Mike said no, I just couldn't sleep. Mike told him he had been pushing his button often trying to fall asleep and had especially been pushing it more, since 4 a.m. The doctor said, "Mr. Mike, You do realize that that button is only a local pain reliever....not a narcotic?" Mike had given himself "dead leg", making his whole left leg numb. :) The doctor said, "If you're having trouble falling asleep, we'll give you something to sleep. Only hit that button when you're in pain." Amber and I lost it. :)

So even during a dark few days....God blessed us with enough light, to laugh a little. Thank you for checking in on us and lifting us up.

"He gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak." Isaiah 40:29

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