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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

5.01.2008

Details

Our hearts are still dancing with the wonderful news we received today during Mike's doctor appointment. Getting the news that Mike's tumor shrank to 1.2 centimeters, half as much as it was last measured, was exciting. But it was also such a relief to also hear that the tumor never grew during the two month hiatus (off treatment), when we were in the midst of being seen at MD Anderson. There had been concern about that when we returned from there in January after an emergency CT was done to replace the stents. The radiologists were almost certain it had increased in size. (confusion because of the different CT equipment in various locations)

To give everyone an idea of the size the tumor.....in July it was 5 centimeters, which is the equivalent of a little less than 2 inches. Now, the tumor is less than a 1/2 an inch. I'm still awed by God's mercy and healing hands. When Mike heard the news today, he told Dr. Sneed, "That's Good News!" and Dr. Sneed replied, "No, That's Great News!"

The type of chemotherapy Mike is receiving, Carboplatin and Taxol, is supposedly the kind that can be continued as long as necessary, meaning that Dr. Sneed has had patients routinely on it for up to 4-5 years without stopping. Of course, Mike and I pray God will completely remove this tumor and allow him to stop having treatments at some point, but it's comforting to know that we can keep at this, for as long as it takes to beat it into remission. Once that is done, then Dr. Sneed said Mike would possibly have 1-2 treatments additionally, as kind of insurance that everything is gone. What is positive news, is this type of tumor appears to be slow growing. So keeping a watchful eye on it, after it is in remission, should help us to be able to stay on top of it, should it try to grow back.

Usually CT Scans are allowed by our insurance company every 3-4 months, so that will be the next probable time a measurement will be taken. We're praying that as this continues to shrink, that Mike's liver will continue functioning normally, and the stents will not be an issue. This is because, we were told in January, when the stents malfunctioned, it is usually routine to replace them every 4-6 months. That procedure is difficult on Mike. I'm praying soon, there will be no need for stents at all.

With the type of chemotherapy Mike is taking, the main side effects are Neuropathy, Fatigue, and Low Blood Counts. Because Mike is on the Neulasta, the blood counts haven't been an issue. Mike feels the neuropathy (finger and foot pain) he is experiencing, isn't keeping him from doing very much. He does have pain from time to time, making it difficult to walk some days, but all in all...he feels it isn't interfering with very much. The largest obstacle for Mike has been his energy level. He runs out of steam very quickly. So that has made working more of a challenge. But even there, God is watching out for us, by giving Mike an understanding employer who works with him and around him.

There are also a couple of other small issues that pop up with Mike taking chemotherapy, that don't always occur with every treatment, but occasionally can be an issue. That is he develops fluid in his lungs, or around his heart. He daily takes medication for his heart, but these are additional areas we have to be watchful of. Presently, his liver enzymes are elevated. This is probably due to the treatments, particularly the Taxol. Dr. Sneed is keeping a close eye on these levels to make sure Mike's liver is metabolizing the Taxol well, and no toxins build up. If they go over a certain amount, then the Taxol may need to be stopped or reduced for awhile.

We are just SO blessed! Even though this is Mike's third round with Cancer during his lifetime, we have learned so many valuable lessons about God's love, and His mercy and grace. We have experienced the gift of friendships, and brother's and sister's in Christ, who hold us up and support us when we're some times too weary, or too tired emotionally, to stand on our own. We have learned the value of family, and have found strength and healing just being together. And individually God has given Mike and I obstacles early on in our lives, to help us grow, to help draw us closer to Him, to help us exercise our dependency on Him, and to make us fall more deeply in love with one another.

In life, we can take so many things for granted. Sitting in a chemotherapy room puts a lot into perspective. As Mike and I were celebrating the joy of our good news today, seated across from me was a couple we have become familiar with in our tri-weekly visits. They didn't receive good news today. In fact, they were preparing to admit her husband to the hospital to receive 3 units of blood. He was in a wheelchair and she was trying to be strong for him, standing beside him. But I looked up briefly into her eyes, and my heart broke. I know the fear she's facing. I know the strength she is trying to muster up. And I saw the tears slide down her face. I don't know if she knows the Lord, but I know how difficult it would be to go through all of this, without knowing and trusting in Him. There wasn't much of an opportunity to talk with her today, so all I felt I could do was pray for her in that moment. It's painful to sit there with Mike those 4-5 hours during treatment, but it is also a wonderful prayer ground, to interceed for others that are in the same situation we're in.

Anyway, I know I have rattled on a bit, but some times I feel led to share more than just quick facts. Thank you for your patience and understanding with me, and for your faithfulness in praying for Mike and our family. God is Good.....ALL the time!

"I pray that you....may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." Ephesians 3:18

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