Reflection

I came across something this morning from Mart De Haan which spoke to my heart.

"My guess is that many of us have seen the same thing. Looking back, our Father in heaven has given us enough daily provisions to show his faithfulness, enough dramatic answers to our prayers to show his ability to respond– and enough “silence” to test our trust.
We’re probably also learning together that God cannot be intimidated or manipulated. He doesn’t seem to be afraid of our anger or overcome by our tears. And maybe even more importantly, he is never as silent as we may think. Even when when we are tempted to think that he must have a heart of stone… he is saying, “Be still and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10).
And when we wonder, “what’s the use”, the one who died for us, urges us always to pray– and not to faint (Luke 18:1).
I’m thinking that our Father may be more honored by our willingness to wait on him, than by our momentary delight with his answers…"

Mike is doing well this morning, with the exception of being a little jittery from the steroids they gave him yesterday during his chemo treatment. He seems to have a little more trouble resting the first night after treatment, and that was certainly true for him trying to fall asleep last night, as well as staying asleep this morning. We are praying this coming weekend will go smoothly, as it was his 2nd treatment last fall, that he had trouble with his heart on the 3rd to 4th day.

Treatment II - 2008

Mike's second appointment and treatment since the beginning of this year went well. The doctor told us Mike's blood counts were good today, as was his bilirubin count. His weight was staying consistent and the side effects were staying at a minimum, which is what the doctor is looking for. We won't be doing another CT Scan to measure the tumor for another month or two. We will just continue hitting this tumor as hard as we can for now. He will go back to the doctor's office tomorrow to get his Neulasta injection to help keep his blood counts up.

Our prayer is that Mike will remain healthy. We pray for God's hedge of protection around him and our family. We also pray there will be no further side effects from the chemotherapy treatments than what Mike is already experiencing, or from the Neulasta injections, which can cause deep bone pain. We need these chemo drugs to shrink the tumor, and he needs the Neulasta injections to keep him healthy enough to continue receiving these treatments. We also need his stents working properly to keep his liver counts as normal as possible. And as with any other lengthy illness, we some times grow weary, and feel the burden, some days more than others. Please pray we will experience God's peace, and rest, knowing He is in control.

"I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand and say to you, "Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

Day 18

It has been a good day and a great weekend! We praise God for all He has blessed us with, and we thank YOU for praying so earnestly on our behalf.

Third Week Update

Mike has done fairly well this week. He has been able to rest well at night which makes a difference in how his daily pain effects him. He has had to use stronger pain medication twice this week because of general body aches and the neuropathy pain he experiences in his feet, but outside of that, he has tried to pace himself using these only as needed. Most times Ibuprofen or Tylenol manage it. Blood counts seem to be good, as is his bilirubin count. The bilirubin count is important because it indicates how well the biliary ducts are draining in his liver, with the stents inserted in the mass.

At work, they have moved Mike's office to the front of the building this week, and that has had the added benefit of limiting the amount of walking for him. Please continue to pray Mike's job will be protected, and for Mike's discernment in dealing with his illness, FMLA and disability.

Also, this coming Thursday (2/28), we begin another cycle of chemotherapy. Please be praying that Mike stays healthy, with so many viruses going around, and that the side effects will be minimal so he can continue to work.

We trust God for all of our needs and for complete healing for Mike. "And everything you ask in prayer, believing you shall receive." Matthew 21:22

Day 15

Mike and I would appreciate prayer concerning some legal issues we're facing regarding my father's estate, and also involving Mike's job. Please pray that we will have wisdom and discernment to make the best decisions possible, under the stress we're already under.

Mike's hair began falling out today so Kojak is back!!! :)

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. He reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him." Daniel 2:20,22

So Blessed!

Mike and I are SO blessed! We have family and friends who have come to our side and given so selflessly. They have spent hours listening to us, even crying with us. They have given their shoulders for us to cry on. They have come alongside us, and reminded us we weren’t alone, and that they care.

They have gone out of their way to pick us up at the airport, or take us to the airport to catch a flight. They have given their own hard earned money to make our life just a little easier. They have provided airline tickets to get a second opinion and to help us get Mike the best treatment possible. They have mowed our lawns, washed our cars, rotated tires, taken pup's in and out and fed them. They have taken us to dinner and brought over food. They have even contacted their own doctors to find help for us. They have given gifts of magazines and crossword puzzles to pass time in a waiting room. They have given us snacks, and even quarters for vending machines.

They have held fundraisers to bridge finances until we could get on disability. They have found ways to keep Mike’s job safe. They have given us flexibility to work around appointments, bad mornings, or long, tiring days. They have picked up the slack when it’s been all we could do just to crawl out of bed and face another day.

We’ve been added to so many church prayer lists too numerous to mention. Strangers come up and give us hugs, and friends of faith send prayers in a glance from across the room. Written words in each card, each email, each note, have lifted us out of many dark moments. The spoken and silent prayers have carried us through some pretty painful days.

We have learned invaluable lessons about love, about sacrifice, about faith, about friendship, about humility, about strength, about trust, about testing, about God’s love demonstrated through His loving children. I’m fairly confident there will be more valuable lessons still ahead, but one thing is for sure, nothing has gone unnoticed…and ALL of it has made a huge difference in Mike's and my life.

Thank you for your love, and being the support behind us. We could have never made it this far, without you, or without God’s mercy and grace. We love you dearly.

“We are assured and know that all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.” Romans 8:28

Good Lab Report

Today Mike needed to have routine lab work done to check his blood counts. Everything was fine.

While waiting though to have the test, Mike mentioned to me he was concerned about his bilirubin count again, because he began feeling itchy like he did last month. My heart dropped, knowing that if they were elevated, that would mean the stents were no longer functioning correctly, and we would be heading back to LR for tubes to be reinserted. It turns out his bilirubin level is also fine. PTL

It was just a reminder to me how quickly we take things for granted, and how important it is, to daily ask God for His protection over Mike. It's so important to have these stents doing their job. For Mike, it's a quality of life. With stents, he can feel as normal as possible. He can lift his grandbabies without concern. He can give the children and I hugs we need so much right now. He can roll over and sleep on his side or stomach. He can drive to work, or do the kind of things a man likes to do around the house, to care for his family. It's too easy to forget, how quickly normal, can turn into difficult. So please continue to pray with me, that God will keep these stents functioning properly to drain Mike's liver. Maybe one day, God will answer our prayers with a miracle, not needing the stents at all.


"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20

A Good Day w/ Lab in the Morning

Monday was pretty good for Mike. He's beginning to see a kind cycle to his day, with valleys and peaks throughout. He's pretty much doing well in the morning, but runs out of steam just around lunch. Then the same is true for the afternoon, with him coming home pretty exhausted. If he takes a short nap, he has a fairly good evening.

Tomorrow morning he goes to the hospital for lab work. If all is well we won't hear from the oncologist's office.

"To have faith is to believe the task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us."

Reflection

Today I spent some time thinking about the word FAITH and what it means to me. I was reading about a Canaanite woman’s great faith from Matthew 15:21-28. The story wasn’t simply about a woman’s faith, but showed me the desperation of her faith, where great faith often begins. Her desperation led her to hope, and in this hope she was unashamed. She came boldly, kneeling, worshiping God, and ceaselessly praying, Lord, help me! The Canaanite woman’s faith was without shame because she knew Jesus was her only hope. She came trusting and showed a relentless dependence on Him. I know that kind of desperation, and I continue to place all my trust in Him.

Mike needed a little extra help today with pain so he took something a little stronger than his usual Tylenol or Ibuprofen. It was enough to take the edge off of what he was feeling and to make him a little more comfortable. He often says weekends are the hardest for him because he has more opportunity to sit around and "feel" the side effects more. He'd rather be distracted by work or activities. Walking and headaches seem to be his largest problem with pain right now. Please continue to pray for this chemo to beat up this tumor, without causing too much pain for Mike in other areas of his body.

Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

A Better Day

Friday afternoon Mike and Drew played together on the floor, with Drew giggling, while Grandpa tickled him. These moments are so precious to Mike and I, to be able to enjoy the simple gifts life brings, and to be able to lay aside everything else. We're so grateful for every answer to prayer. Thank you for praying for a better day.

"I will open up the windows of heaven for you and pour out a blessing so great you won't have room enough to take it in!" Malachi 3:10

Praying for a Better Day

Mike never made it back to work yesterday after lunch. A nap did not help. He was feeling "off"; very tired, and a little down. He went to bed early last evening.

Today is a new day though, and he woke up feeling better. My prayer is that our prayers will carry him through each day, one small step at a time.

"The world is half as heavy when two shoulder it together...and sometimes simply holding hands is holding on to everything."

Day 8

Mike is weak today and is using his lunch napping, hoping to regain some energy to continue the remainder of the workday. Please pray for strength.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength. Isaiah 40:29

Pressing On!

These little boys are all the motivation Mike needs while taking chemotherapy treatments. Drew and Ethan are the joy of his life...(next to his own kiddos). :)

Pray for Mike's continued foot pain, his energy level, and a sense of calm at work. Mike is continuing to work during his treatments, and with some changes underway there, he's felt a little more stress this week.

"Seeing then that we have a great high Priest…Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. Let us come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need". (Heb. 4:14,16)

Brief Hospital Stay

First off......Mike is doing okay. He is handling the treatment fine, except the neurophathy in his feet is beginning to give him trouble again, and his energy level has been low. Unfortunately, instead of me "doctoring" him, he has been fretting over me. I ended up being admitted to the hospital Saturday afternoon with chest pain and shortness of breath. I'm fine. They just wanted to keep me over the weekend to observe me and to run some tests. I was able to come home late Monday evening, so now I can get back to caring for Mike. Please continue to pray for him.

Day 2 has been good.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercies,
To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed when the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth and giveth and giveth again. --Annie Johnson Flint

Treatment -Day 1

Mike had his ultrasound done today to locate the thrombosis in his left clavical artery. The technician gave us the impression nothing was found, so unless we are called later, we are assuming God has taken care of things for us, and the clot is no longer there.

He began his treatment today which took four hours. Usually day 1 goes well and he has lots of energy because of the steroids he's given.

Mike will go back tomorrow for the Neuplasta injection to help keep his blood counts up.

We're trusting God to use these treatments to shrink the tumor and to put Mike into remission.