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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

6.30.2008

A Praise!!

Just wanted to thank you for your prayers. Mike was offered the part-time job today with TLI. This is such a blessing and we're so grateful!
You can check out their newsletter, (of special note page 6) at http://www.transcolines.com/may08news.pdf

Also, we learned Mike's treatment day is being changed to Wednesday, and his doctor appointment and Neulasta injection will be done on Thursday, due to the Fourth of July holiday.

Thank you again for praying for us so faithfully.

"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:21-23

6.29.2008

Mike continues to do well. Thursday is his next oncology appointment and chemotherapy treatment, so he's gearing himself up for that. In the past week, Mike has talked quite a bit about his next CT scan. His hopes are up high that the tumor will be gone. I know he is getting tired of the treatments and wants to be through with all of this. Please continue to pray for complete healing, and God's peace.

Mike's job may be coming to an end more quickly than first thought. Because of this, Mike has become increasingly anxious about what he's going to do next. He realizes, even if the scan returns in July with the tumor being smaller, or gone; he still has a long road of recovery ahead of him. He would only be able to work part-time for now, until his energy level improved and his pain level decreased.

A part-time position would not only be helpful in paying COBRA health payments, but it would also give Mike someplace to go, to help keep his mind positive. There is a wonderful possibility, of a part-time position, that was presented to Mike last Friday. The company is here in town, and the owners are very understanding about our situation. It couldn't be a better suit for him. We would appreciate your prayers for God's will. We hope to hear something Monday or Tuesday.

Matt (our son) is set up for two job interviews a day apart. For the Northwest Arkansas position, he will be heading to Nashville July 8th, to meet with upper management, more or less as a formality. But this job, would require Matt and his family to move, and they had already begun work on building their "dream" home here in town before Matt was laid off. The ANO interview is July 9th, and this is the job Matt feels would be the better fit for him and his family. We are SO grateful for all of your prayers for Matt passing his test. Please pray for peace for Matt and Jill as they continue to wait on God's will for them. It has been a LONG 9 months...living in a small addition, on our property, with their 22 month old little boy.

Thank you so much for caring for our family and faithfully keeping us in your prayers. Please know every email we receive from you; every hug, kind words, or card of encouragement, has been profound in getting us through all of this. Our hearts are deeply touched and you have been such a blessing to us.

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." Psalm 71:20

(Please enjoy some of the songs below that have brought comfort to us.)

6.27.2008

Mike is feeling good today. He received some encouraging news on a possible part-time position, but he won't hear the final word on this until next week. Also, Matt learned he has an interview July 9th with ANO. We are so grateful for your prayers. Please continue to pray for God's will in these opportunities.

Mike's next treatment will be Thursday, July 3rd.

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." Psalm 71:20

(Please enjoy some of the songs below that have brought comfort to us.)




6.25.2008

Since last summer, it has felt like there has been one hurdle after another for our family to jump over. As believers, our hearts desire has been to meet each of these hurdles gracefully, to point people to Christ, and not waste any time asking “why”? We know God loves us, has redeemed us, and has a greater purpose to all of this, than we possibly could understand.

Yet there are moments, when the energy it requires to deal with everything, just completely drains us, and makes it hard to lift our chins. The pathway can get blurred, and our hearts can get weighted down with discouragement and fear. All we know to do, is to continue laying everything at God’s feet, and pray God will supply everything we need to keep going, and we will find rest in His arms.

Yesterday was one of those days described above, but thankfully, today was a new day, and God continues to show His mercy on us, by blessing us, and answering prayer.

#1 Matt (our son) passed his employment test! Thank you so much for lifting him up! Now we need to wait and see if he’ll be offered a position at ANO.

#2 Matt’s interview with the other position in Northwest Arkansas, went well and looks promising, although it would bring about some other hurdles Matt and his family would need to cross. Please continue to pray for God’s will.

#3 Settling my father's estate in Florida is finally coming to a close. I'm praying I can move beyond all of the complications with that soon.

#4 The job possibility Mike had for part-time work, didn't work out, so that door has been closed. We will continue to trust God to supply for our needs, beyond Goody's, and we pray He will calm our hearts while we wait.

Thank you for your faithful intercession. Your concern and support has meant everything to us. We will continue to update you. In the meantime, Mike’s next treatment will be Thursday, July 3rd, with a CT probably being scheduled the end of July.

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4


6.22.2008

Mike is feeling pretty good right now, getting past the initial treatment week that tends to be so hard on him. We expect him to continue about the same until his next treatment, which will be Thursday, July 3rd.

We continue to ask for your prayers with this tumor being reduced completely, for Mike to find some kind of part time employment to replace his job that closes down by August 9th, and for our son, Matt, to find a job soon. Thank you for standing in the gap for us on these requests. We will update you with any "new" news.

"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

6.21.2008

(Drew giving Grandpa his Father's Day card.)
(Ethan and Grandpa checking out a ball together.)

Mike had another good day today. His stomach gave him a little bit of trouble at the beginning of the day for some reason but it was over almost as quickly as it started. Mike describes it as a kind of weak feeling in his stomach, and it usually is enough to make him take the Phenagren (anti-nausea medication), which immediately helps.

At one point Mike tried to wander around our yard clipping a couple of branches off some lower limbs of trees, but it tired him out enough that he had to stop. He went upstairs and laid down for awhile. He gets a little frustrated when something so simple seems to beat him. I find myself reminding him that the chemotherapy alone, can zap his energy easily, not even counting the physical symptoms he has from his cancer.


We received a little positive news last evening about a job possibility that could be promising; work Mike could do from home, in his line of work. Mike still doesn't have all of the ends and outs about the position yet, but is expected to find out more this coming week. I can't begin to say how encouraging this news was for Mike, just to be able to possibly have something to do at least part-time, and something that may grow into being more down the road. Mike was beginning to grow very concerned about not having something to do to take his mind off his physical state after his job with Goody's finished out.


Please be praying with us that this venture may be from God's hands and that we'll have wisdom to make wise decisions. Because Mike is on disability we need to be very careful to abide by certain guidelines and conditions and there isn't a lot of room for error. Never being in this position before, we're learning a lot on the fly.


It's HUGE what a little hope can bring to our heart! Mike and I are so grateful for God's goodness towards us, and for blessing us with such dear friends, that care just as much about our happiness and well being, as their own. I know I sound redundant, but your prayers carry us daily. God bless you as you are blessing us.



"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

6.20.2008

Mike has had a better day today. His stomach has quieted down and his energy level has improved. He worked a full day today and did well. The pain he has had in his feet and hands continue to make it necessary for him to stay on his pain medication.

We are so grateful for even the slightest improvement Mike makes. Thank you for your faithful prayers and concern.


"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

6.19.2008

Mike was feeling a little better today. His stomach has still been touchy, and the "more than usual" weakness following a treatment was still around, but he's trying to push through it and move around more, despite feeling winded.

He saw his dermatologist this morning to doublecheck a couple of spots on his head. We were told these spots weren't anything to be concerned about, a couple of months ago, but they wanted to recheck them anyway. With his hair being completely gone now, I figured the doctor could have a better look at them. They checked out fine. The doctor did remove two precancerous areas on the side of Mike's face. Mike's had this done before and it was no big deal.

Work at Goody's is slowing to a halt at times, and that is bothering Mike quite a bit, not having something to do to take his mind off of what he's feeling physically. The distribution center wasn't working today, but will be tomorrow, and will be Monday. We're praying Mike will be able to find something part time to do until his health gets back to normal. We've heard about a couple of possibilities that could be promising.

We would continue to appreciate your prayers for Mike's health, Mike's employment situation, our son's employment situation, and the stress we've been under with other things going on in our life (death's in the family). We're so grateful for having such wonderful friends and family interceeding for us. The stress has been a little overwhelming lately and has completely worn us out. I don't know where we would be with out God's presence in our life, and your faithfulness. Thank you!

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

6.18.2008

Home Safely!

Just wanted to let everyone know Jill and I made it home safely last evening.

Our flight out Sunday evening ended up being a wild ride! We were suppose to connect to another plane in St. Louis, to take us on in to Orlando that evening, but for some reason, things got messed up from the start. Our plane was delayed in Little Rock, and from there the fun began!

We were first told we would have to miss our flight in St. Louis, and would be put up in a hotel there, but after a bumpy ride, when we got to St. Louis, they wouldn’t let us leave the plane, and told us we were heading on to Chicago to catch another plane there, that would take us on in to Orlando. Well, when we got to Chicago, all the planes had left, and we were stranded.

The airline put us up in a hotel late that night (around midnight). It wasn’t the best, and not really a great situation for two women traveling alone, but we were able to get about 3 hours sleep, before needing to head back to the airport by 4:45 a.m., to catch the earliest flight into Orlando Monday morning.

It was a small inconvenience, but Gods hand, and your prayers protected us, and kept us safe. Those of you who know my health history, understand how much of a blessing it was for me to have Jill with me throughout all of this, and what a blessing it was that Mike hadn’t gone with me. God stayed at our side and Jill was an angel, handling all of the confusion at the terminals.

Jill and I were exhausted once we got to Orlando, but the memorial service was a tender time, celebrating the life of a sweet, gentle man, and we were able to comfort and support my sister. The other family situations at the funeral were mostly peaceful, and I’m confident prayer was the reason for that outcome.

Back on this side of town, Mike has felt pretty lousy all the way through today. We’re hoping tomorrow will be a better day for him. His stomach has been a little more upset after this treatment, and he has been very weak and winded. The kids kept Mike fed and cared for while I was away, and that was a great comfort to me.

Matt, our son, took his test Monday morning and is concerned he didn’t do as well as he had hoped he would. Of course, we hate seeing him discouraged, and know that this past week was a set of unusual circumstances, that might have rattled him, but we’re praying it all may have a positive outcome. We should know more in a couple of weeks.

Matt does have another job opportunity next week, but it would take him to NW Arkansas. That isn’t far, but since they had already begun work on building a home here locally, that would be another hurdle they would have to contend with. We’re just praying for God’s wisdom for them, and that they will be in the center of His will.

I could never thank you enough for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers.

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak, for You, Lord, deliver him in times of trouble. You, Lord, will protect him and preserve his life; You will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. (Psalm 41:1-3)

6.14.2008

A Tough Week


Mike has had a rough day feeling extremely weak and being sick to his stomach. We decided it isn't in his best interest for him to accompany me to the funeral in Florida. We only expect him to be worse Monday and Tuesday. Our son, daughter, and son-in-law will be staying close by to help Mike if he should need it. Please pray that Mike stays safe while I'm gone.

My daughter-in-law, Jill, will be accompanying me on the trip for the funeral. I'm grateful to have someone else to help make sure I make the connection correctly, and get on the right plane in St. Louis. :) It will also be comforting to have someone else traveling with me.

It's been a pretty rough week, with Mike losing his job, my stepfather passing away, and treatment week for Mike, on top of that. I'd like to say I'm handling things well, but simply put, I'm weary and tired. Where I'm heading, isn't going to be easy for me, for many reasons. And leaving a sick husband behind has my heart torn.

My son will also be trying to care for his 22 month old son, Drew, by himself, when he has an employment test on Monday. I pray that Drew handles his mommy being away, and that Matt is able to rest well, so he can be prepared for this test. His other grandparents are here in town and I know they will help him.

My heart wants to remind me God is in control, but at times my mind wants to beg to differ. It's just been a difficult, long year. We would appreciate your continued prayers.

"Under His wings I am safely abiding, Though the night deepens and tempests are wild; Still I can trust Him, I know He will keep me, He has redeemed me, and I am His child." -Cushing

6.12.2008

11th Treatment and Doctor Visit

Mike saw his oncologist again this morning and had his 11th chemotherapy treatment. The oncologist was pleased to know Mike was doing well. They discussed when the next CT scan would be ordered and the doctor said it wouldn't be until the end of July. (farther away than we initially thought)

Mike asked about how many treatments would he probably have if the CT showed the tumor was gone. The oncologist mentioned, if the tumor was gone from the CT, then the doctor would probably order another PET scan done, to be certain it didn't show anything either. He also mentioned spreading out Mike's treatments to possibly every 4 weeks, instead of doing them every 3 weeks, if we had to continue with treatments. We really didn't get a firm answer on exactly how many that would be.

The oncologist also offered Mike medication, in addition to the pain medication he's already on, for his Neuropathy...suggesting Lyrica, as possibly one to use, but Mike turned down the offer, saying he felt his pain wasn't bad enough to do that. Of course, I'm always worried Mike is staying quiet with a lot of the pain he feels. I'm just trusting no permanent damage will be done.

I have so many things to ask you to lift up in prayer. So much is coming at our family at one time, it's almost unbelievable. The next few days are going to be even more difficult as out of town family gathers in Florida for a funeral. Please pray God's peace will go with me, and that I can be a blessing to Jaime (my sister).

I will be flying to Florida Sunday evening to attend my stepfather's funeral, which will be Monday afternoon. Mike is going to try and go with me, but usually Sunday and Monday's are his worst days following treatment, and the flight will be lengthy. Please pray, if Mike ends up going with me, protection over him for his health and for our safety. The kids will not be going to the funeral, although Jill (our daughter-in-law) has offered to step in and take Mike's place, if he is unable to go. I know it will take a lot out of Mike to go, but I know he also loved Jim, and wants to be there for me as well. Please pray that Mike's lungs and heart stay clear of any inflammation from today's treatment, that he will not pick up any viruses along the way, and that his Neuropathy pain doesn't increase.

While we're gone, our son, Matt, will be taking a test for a job position here in town on Monday. The test can be difficult, so I pray he won't be so distracted with everything else going on in the family, that he can't focus his attention fully on that. As you already know, he was laid off in January, got a new job in April, and then learned that company was shutting their doors just a few weeks later. It has been an incredibly stressful time for him and his family, and we're praying Matt can find a job here locally, so that he and his family can remain living here, especially given Mike's health situation.

I am deeply grateful for all of your prayers.

"For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever," Psalm 37:28

6.11.2008

In Memory of Jim Johnson

(Pictured above, is my little sister, Jaime, Jim, and I, September 2006)


Today, I lost a special person in my life,
my step-father, Jim Johnson.
He was one of the sweetest men you could ever know
and would have given the shirt off his back to help you.
He recently had been fighting Luekemia and Prostate Cancer.
His Luekemia was in remission.
He died this morning of a heart attack in Florida
and he will be sorely missed.

As some of you already know,
I lost my own father to a heart attack, last August, just as suddenly.
Please pray for my little sister. Her heart is broken.
(Please listen to the song below. The lyrics are below it.
Just click the arrow.)

6.10.2008

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart.
Psalm 51:17

6.09.2008

Dear Family and Friends,

Mike and I wanted all of you to know we are doing okay. Many of you have been so concerned for us. We want you to know we feel your prayers and comfort.

We also wanted to set some of your concerns at ease. Mike's health is priority number one, and we will continue to have health insurance (Cobra). Mike also had long term disability insurance and will continue receiving that.

Since Mike became ill last summer, he has only been able to work part time. Mike still has a long way to go healthwise, before he is able to find full time employment. But Mike is also the kind of person who won't do well sitting at home, so we're praying God will open the right doors for him to work part time, once his commitment with Goody's is over. He feels he needs that kind of motivation every day to get through his fight with cancer, but it is going to take a company sensitive to our situation, and one that is flexible.

It has been a long, tough year, and there have been a lot of things to deal with. Yes, we're "weary-tired-and worn". But God has never left our side. He has been faithful. One of the hardest things, when going through a crisis, is feeling alone in it. But we have been blessed because God has surrounded us with loving family and friends, who pray and hold us up. We know He will provide for our needs in the future, and we will continue to place all of our trust in Him. We are truly blessed and are extremely grateful!

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Love,
Mike and Beverly

P.S. Next chemotherapy treatment will be this Thursday, June 12th.

Mike Has Lost His Job

We learned this morning, Goody's Distribution Center, here in Russellville, will be closing their doors 60 days from today. Therefore, Mike will be without a job.

Of course, I know I don't need to explain how this will impact Mike and I, but we have faith God is in control, and we are trusting Him for our future. We would appreciate all of your prayers as we try and navigate through, not only Mike's health situation, but now this.

"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:21-23

6.08.2008

Tomorrow Morning

We have heard this evening we will have an answer
concerning our latest hurdle by 8 a.m. tomorrow morning.
We would appreciate your prayers.
Songs of Comfort:
"I Am", "Be Still My Soul", "You Are My Hiding Place" and "Sweet Jesus"
(please click onto the arrows below)

6.07.2008

Still

We appologize for any inconvienence in accessing our blog. Our site hasn't been functioning correctly the past 24 hours.

Mike is continuing to feel well and seems to be regaining some strength he hasn't had in almost a year. We're so grateful for these improvements, especially at a time when things seem to be coming at us at once. Waiting for answers to these new concerns, hasn't been a lot of fun. In fact, fear has tried to overtake us a couple of times. But our trust is in God for every situation in our life, and that is leaving us with a peace that could only come from our Heavenly Father, and from the prayers from so many of you. Thank you for lifting us up.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
(please click on the arrow below)

6.05.2008

No News this Week

It appears like we'll need to wait through the weekend to get this matter of prayer resolved (unrelated to Mike's health). We thank you for understanding that we're not able to share any specifics, and just would appreciate your continued prayers. We hope to be able to update you soon.
Mike has been feeling very good this week. He even mowed the front and back lawn today on the riding lawn mower. He's resting now, but he has felt so grateful to feel more like his old self.
Thursday, June 12th, will be his next treatment.

"Teach us to wait patiently in silence...
To trust Your guiding hand,
Your perfect will, Your steadfast love
Even when we're feeling most alone.
Teach us to ask, not why, but what...
What do You want us to learn from this, Lord...
What does it mean to our walk with You,
In our relationship with You and others?
Let us seek, more than reasons, Your wisdom,
More than answers, Your approval,
More than Your peace,
Your blessed presence in our life."
bj hoff

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help,
and He will say: Here am I.
Isaiah 58:9

6.04.2008

"Teach us to wait patiently in silence...
To trust Your guiding hand,
Your perfect will, Your steadfast love
Even when we're feeling most alone.
Teach us to ask, not why, but what...
What do You want us to learn from this, Lord...
What does it mean to our walk with You,
In our relationship with You and others?
Let us seek, more than reasons, Your wisdom,
More than answers, Your approval,
More than Your peace,
Your blessed presence in our life."
bj hoff
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I.
Isaiah 58:9

6.03.2008

God Is In Complete Control

"We need never run out of hope, because you never run out of mercy.
What strength it gives, what peace it lends to know
That whatever this day (this week) may hold
Your promises stand, unchanging and unfailing,
and however this day (or week) may end
Your love will greet another sunrise." bj hoff

There was a brief moment today when we thought we would have answers to the hurdle (not relating to Mike's health) presently facing us, but for whatever reason, it wasn't God's timing. So we continue to trust in Him and know that whatever comes our way, God is in complete control.
Mike and I are so grateful for the love from so many of you. God has been so good to us, to give us patient ears so we could verbalize our feelings the past year, and to clear any confusion. He has given us strong shoulders to cry on and beautiful smiles to remind us we're not alone in any of this. And He has reminded us with his Word, that He is right beside us. All of this has made a HUGE difference in our lives. Thank you for being more than family, dear friends, or brother and sisters in Christ. You have stood beside us praying for us and steadied our steps along the way.
Mike is doing wonderful these past couple of days. He has felt the strongest he's felt in such a long time. And both of us have a peace that even passes our own understanding. We will update everyone when we receive further news.
"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love, We are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:21-23

6.02.2008

Unspoken Prayer Request

Mike and I would appreciate your prayers regarding something important, not related to his health, that we really can't go into right now. We are expecting more information by weeks end. Please pray with us that God will direct our steps, help guide us as we make any decisions we need to make, and that these circumstances won't be discouraging, or overwhelm us.

Thank you for continuing to support us. Mike has been feeling his best the last couple of days.

"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamenatations 3:21-23

6.01.2008

New Every Morning

"We need never run out of hope, because you never run out of mercy. What strength it gives, what peace it lends to know that whatever this day may hold Your promises stand, unchanging and unfailing, and however this day may end Your love will greet another sunrise." bj hoff

"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning."
Lamenatations 3:21-23

Mike had a wonderful, restful day, with his pain under control. He even asked to take a walk later this evening for some exercise. Thank you for faithfully praying for Mike and our family.