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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

10.05.2008

God is the Strength of My Heart

The word this morning was that Mike would be released from the hospital tomorrow morning. But, it looks like that won't be happening until later in the day. The cardiologists have asked to keep Mike longer until they can get together to discuss how to treat Mike.

All of Mike's catheters and hoses have been removed, and the IV in his port is the only one remaining. He is still receiving antibiotics. He is tolerating a regular diet well. They weighed Mike this morning and he's now down to 146 pounds. We will need to work hard to gain his weight (175 lbs.) back.

The cardiologist came by this afternoon and confirmed that Mike has a narrowing in his carotid artery due to past radiation treatment. This doctor will be meeting with Mike's original cardiologist, here at MD Anderson tomorrow, to determine how they will proceed. The medication they are presently giving Mike, to lower is heart rate, and to improve the contraction of the heart, is lowering his blood pressure too. So there is discussion about medications that can raise your BP, but which may hang on to sodium better than the other. I'm not sure I'm understanding, or appropriately translating all of this medical jargon, but I'm trying. One thing that almost made my own heart stop, was when the cardiologist was chatting with Mike about his past treatments, and how he was surprised Mike didn't end up with Leukemia as a result from past treatments. I wanted to say, "our plate is full enough, thank you."

So, that is where we stand at the moment. Mike's healing well from the surgery. We're working on the issues with his heart and with his tube replacement. And I suppose before we leave, we will have received recommendations on how to continue treating Mike's cancer.

Mike is handling all of this a little better each day, although it still overwhelms him and shuts him down at times. When those periods occur, everything becomes more difficult for me. But I think we're making progress trying to cope.

Football is on today so Mike is happy as a clam. Thank you for not forgetting about us, or giving up hope for our situation. We need your prayers and support as much now, as we ever did before, to learn to live with this.

"My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

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