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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

11.25.2008

The oncology appointment this morning went smooth, and my heart remained peaceful. I'm so grateful for all of your prayers.

We discussed the past four months with our doctor, explaining all that took place at MD Anderson. He stated Mike had been through a lot over this time, by the reports he was sent, and how he found it amazing, this tumor ever got to Mike's liver in the first place. He felt the aggressive position we took the first year was helpful in shrinking the tumor, and although ultimately he would have liked to have had the tumor resected from the liver completely, he was satisfied to take a watch and see approach now.

He was glad Mike tolerated radiation treatments well in Houston, in hopes to completely sterilize or kill the tumor. The position now is to see Mike in three weeks to follow his blood work. The bilirubin count today was .8, which is very good. Everything else seemed within acceptable margins, as well. We will go to MD Anderson the middle of January for the complete workup again, and to see where we are at that point. If everything is looking good, Mike will likely wean off seeing doctors at MD Anderson, and return to only being followed by the doctors back here. Mike and his oncologist discussed the need to have Baptist Hospital in LR, talk with someone in Houston, to find what they did to make the biliary exchange less painful for Mike...and without general anesthesia, which led to the fiasco last July. A couple of simple phone calls should be all it takes. Mike plans on trying to have a conversation with the radiologists in LR soon, but hopefully well beyond the next scheduled exchange in January.

The situation regarding the blockage in Mike's subclavian artery was discussed. The oncologist told Mike that this blockage isn't affecting or involving his heart, and because he isn't showing any signs of trouble with his left arm, numbness, pain, etc,...and because a pulse can be felt in that arm, blood supply must be coming from another route, and it is probably best just to leave things alone. This was his opinion at least. Mike is scheduled to see the cardiologist at MD Anderson in January concerning this too, so we'll see what is suggested then.

So, we feel extremely grateful to everyone who has been involved in our situation, and just praise God this Thanksgiving, for being our strength and ever-present help in all of this. We have so much to be thankful for and the mercy and grace He has shown us over this year is a constant reminder He is at our side. But I just especially wanted all of you to know how grateful I am for each and every one of you too, for staying at our sides as well, and helping us face this day by day. We have drawn such strength and comfort from you, because of your prayers and love. Sometimes the hardest battle, is feeling alone in situations like these, and every one of you have reminded us often that we're not. Thank you from the bottom of our heart, and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

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