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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

11.13.2008

Thank you for praying with us about Mike's appetite and nausea situation. That seems to be improving, and Mike is keeping more and more food down. He is trying to add some snacks in between meals and seems to be tolerating it well. We don't believe he is gaining any weight yet, but we think he is maintaining his weight, according to our scale.

Tomorrow will be another physical therapy workout for Mike. He's been moving around slowly today because of Wednesday's PT workout. They had added a couple of exercises for him to do and he was pretty tuckered out by the time we left. I think more than anything, just having this to go to and do, helps motivate Mike. He's never been one to just lay around the house.

His energy level is still running low though, and that is causing some frustration for Mike. Little maintenance projects have been pushed to the side the last 1 1/2 years Mike has been sick, and even though I try to do as much as I can, there are a lot of projects just way over my head. Mike has tried to do some of the easier tasks, but wears out very quickly. Today, he was trying to repair something and was having the worst luck. He ended up having a mini-meltdown and it hurt to see him so frustrated.

Mike has been running low grade fevers almost every evening. So far, they have never been over 100 degrees, but they are enough to make him hurt all over, and concern me. We know if we were to call Houston (who have been involved in the last 3 biliary exchanges) they would probably have us come in to check for infection or even redo the tubes. That's not easy to do living here in AR. But both Mike and I are worried about returning to LR where previous exchanges have been done, because the last one there in July, put him in the CCU for several days. So, we're kind of feeling caught between a rock and hard place. We would appreciate your praying with us, that these fevers would stop! And that we can get through until January with no major infections.

"O Lord, be our rock of refuge, to which we can always go; give the command to save us, for You are our rock and our fortress." Psalm 71:3 (Praying God's Word)
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