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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

12.04.2008

Mike is continuing to do okay. He tells me he is feeling fine, and he is eating well. He is also continuing his physical therapy three days a week. I guess I would just feel a little better if I saw Mike gaining more weight, and if I saw his energy level increase. Doing much of anything seems to wear him completely out. He's good for about one hour of anything, before needing to lie down.

Some days it is hard for me to see Mike so easily tired. I have to remind myself of how well Mike's tubes are doing, and how less of a hassle they presently are for Mike. That he is keeping his food down, and feels well enough to even go to physical therapy. We have so much to be grateful for, and it's wrong to allow anything, to steal away that peace and joy.

I'm grateful to have friends and family who pray for us even when our hearts grow a little tired or discouraged from the journey, and when we don't even know how to ask for prayer specifically. You know our hearts, and you continue to hold us up. What a blessing!

"My helpless friend, your helplessness is the most powerful plea which rises up to the tender father-heart of God. You think that everything is closed to you because you cannot pray. My friend, your helplessness is the very essence of prayer." --O. Hallesby

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