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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

4.14.2009

Today Mike and I had Drew for a couple of hours in the afternoon. It was such a pretty day and we spent a lot of that time outside. Drew was playing in his sandbox and Mike was laying in a lounge chair. When Drew ended up with wet-sandy hands, it became this game that he would try and wipe them off on his papa's jeans. Mike would make it more of a game and would run from Drew. It was never far, or for very long, but the two of them giggled all afternoon together.

Mike actually woke up very early today and seemed to keep good pace with me. He was a little more worn out by the time Drew went home, but even still, he did well. Mike commented to me how it's so hard to put a couple of good days together in a row. We're always left guessing what we're dealing with each day.

Tomorrow, I will be interviewing for a job. It is going to be difficult for me to share my story and seek the understanding, and flexibility I need. I know I already have every one's thoughts and prayers. I'm so grateful for each and every one of you, and for all the love and support you give Mike and I.

"Save me, O God, For the waters have come up to my soul. I have sunk in deep mire, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is parched; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." Psalm 69:1-3

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