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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

6.23.2009

God's Tenderness and Mercy

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm overwhelmed by God's mercy today. He has directed His angels to care for us, and it's been demonstrated in such a visible way. I can't stay silent, because it clearly came from His hand. I praise Him for his faithfulness to His children. He has lifted an unbearable weight from our shoulders.

Lara, Mike and I could never thank you enough, for helping us. You have truly been an angel to us on earth through Goody's. Thank you for doing all you could, to have Mike's (Long Term Disability Insurance) case reopened for the additional three years we were counting on. An unimaginable weight has been lifted from our shoulders.

I am so grateful for each person God has placed in Mike's and my life. Each one of you have lifted Mike and I up when we were the most desperate, in many various ways. You have all come to us by God's hand, and we consider you each, as one of His angels. We're unworthy of His grace, unconditional love, and goodness. The love and friendship of His servants has had no measure....no end. Your love will forever be written upon our hearts.

Mike had a right thoracentisis (fluid removed from his lung) this morning. When they tried to remove Mike's oxygen this morning, his level dropped to 85, when they would like to keep it at 90. So the internist decided a chest xray was necessary. After that was reviewed, a decision was made for the procedure. Mike did well and I believe he said 500 cc's were extracted, but I may have that wrong.

Mike has been requesting only the pill forms of pain and nausea medication he's routinely taken in the past, and I can already see a major improvement in him. I'm totally convinced the other medication was causing the tremors, seizure like movements he was experiencing. So not viewing those symptoms today has kept me calmer.

Mike told me he weighed 153 this morning, which makes it appear like he has lost almost 10 pounds of fluid weight. I noticed the swelling has reduced quite a bit, even though Mike still feels discomfort in his belly region. They have increased the diuretic medication which seems to be helping.

We meet with our oncologist this evening around 6 p.m., and may have more answers as to when Mike will be ready to go home, and how do we go from here. I will update you this evening if we receive any concrete plans.

Again....dear ones....thank you. Your prayers, your visits, your contacts with others we've needed, your gifts (unspeakable gifts), your willingness to get involved in our tragic and very painful story. From bringing us food to the hospital, to changing light bulbs, your willingness to stand beside us brings me to tears. No loving act has gone unnoticed.

I hope you will listen to the lyrics of the song above. It speaks from our heart.

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