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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

7.05.2009

Mike was able to get some real rest last night, even though he woke up in the middle of the night throwing up. We're not really sure what is causing this. It's happened a handful of times. What I have observed, is Mike sounds congested while he's sleeping, and tries to cough, which then leads to that outcome. Mike tells me he immediately awakens, feeling flushed or hot, and then instantly becomes sick to his stomach. Anyway, he woke up fine this morning and has been able to eat all three meals with no problem.

Later this afternoon, Mike asked for me to help him walk over to the studio. It has been a couple of months since Mike's been over there. I left him there and came back to cook some dinner for him. He was over there for about 30 minutes and told me he played his drums. I could tell it was more of an accomplishment for Mike, than playing his drums. It was like the first step back to recovery for him. I pray he will do well enough the next few weeks so he can heal, gain strength, and possibly return to physical therapy soon.

I'm so thankful for God bringing him home from the hospital and to see Mike feeling better. He's weak, but he looks the best I've seen him in weeks. I pray he gains some more strength and weight, so that when August rolls around; he might be able to take chemotherapy treatments to continue fighting this tumor. I pray God will completely cover Mike with protection for the cancer he's fighting, his heart complications with these blockages he's developed, and that his biliary drains will continue to function correctly. I pray that through all of this, God would be glorified, and be given all the praise and adoration He deserves, for bringing us through this as far as we've come. He has met every need we've had, and has blessed us with unconditional love and support from all of you. I pray Mike and I have been able to share how deeply important, each of you have been to us. Our hearts are so full of gratitude.

Coming up this week, Mike has a INR test Tuesday morning to check the Prothrombin Time, the ability of his blood clotting correctly. Then he is suppose to have additional labs done Wednesday for the oncologist. On Thursday, he will meet with the internist to see if there is anything more we need to be doing about this blood clot in Mike's subclavian vein, to prevent a Pulmonary Embolism from developing. Hopefully, the Coumadine level will be sufficient in preventing Mike's blood from forming any additional blood clots.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

"Lord, in my heart I plan my course, but You determine my steps. (Proverbs 16:9) Life is not going as we planned. We are so grateful that You are not caught off guard. You know everything that would befall us. Please direct our steps as You determine. We need You, Lord. Carry us when we cannot walk."

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