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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

9.15.2009

The cough revisited Mike and I at 4:30 this morning.  I got up to give Mike his medication for this, when he accidently dropped the clear gel capsule on the bedroom floor.  I could hear it rolling, but without my glasses on, I had no clue what direction it went.  And because our two Cocker Spaniels, are like two high tech Eureka vacuums, I knew putting off finding the pill to the morning, wouldn't do.  So there I was, at 4:30 a.m., on hands and knees with my flashlight on search for the invisible pill.  Let me tell you, it wasn't a pretty site and it made falling back to sleep, almost impossible!


Thankfully, Mike's cough settled down and he has felt pretty good today.  His home health nurse said Mike's sores are improving and suggested a different type of dressing to help dry them out.  Mike's blood pressure was a little bit better, but the oxygen in his blood was low, and she suggested Mike use his concentrator,especially at night.  I'm not sure if Mike will take her advice.


This evening I was able to walk Mike outside a little.  I thought maybe some fresh air, might interest him into getting up more often.  We didn't get far before he tired out, but later on this evening he wanted to ride up with me to Walgreen's to pick up some milk, in the Miata with the top down, and when I came out of the store, he was behind the drivers wheel.  He drove home, which was the first in several weeks.  He said it was really refreshing.  For me, it was an ahhahh moment.  Something normal for a change.

Mike called the oncologist's office to possibly schedule a paracentesis next Monday or Tuesday.  The fluid has built back up a little bit in his abdomen, and I think he is considering having it removed.  I'm praying God will remove the fluid with the medications Mike's prescribed to take.

God bless all of you for praying consistently for us.  Your thoughts and prayers are such a comfort to us.

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