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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

9.02.2009

Home Health came out today to assess our situation and have us complete some paperwork. The nurse was a female match for Mike's wild sense of humor. She offered us some advice and told us a nurse will be coming out to visit about three times a week.

Our family doctor and his nurses were angels in tracking down free samples of a special patch Mike can try, to help with these bedsores he's developed. This has become the greatest need Mike has. He has been absolutely miserable with them, and can not get comfortable or find relief. There is a gel-like thickness to these patches, so perhaps Mike will feel a little more comfortable and possibly begin to heal. The bed sores are a breaking down of tissue caused by a lack of protein in Mike's diet, in addition to the pressure his bones are causing against fragile skin. I'm praying we can avoid any kind of bacterial/viral infections with the help of these patches covering the wounds, and I'm praying we can turn things around.

We didn't have a very good start today. I couldn't get Mike to eat any breakfast before I left for work. At lunch, he drank an Ensure shake along with some applesauce. But when I tried to encourage him to eat a protein bar while I was making him some dinner this evening, he began coughing and didn't keep anything down. I'm grateful he at least went on ahead and ate some dinner later. So far that has remained down.

The swelling Mike had been experiencing has reduced to almost nothing. For the first time, in several months, his stomach actually looks close to normal. Even though our oncologist didn't want to repeat the paracentesis, once it pulled out, Mike and I are confident it has improved his being more comfortable. Even his lungs feel better and we can't hear any crackling. (Ashley-you are such a blessing to us!) Mike's left arm continues to be swollen, but we're back on the Coumadin, and perhaps we can get that to come back down soon.

Emotionally....we're hangin' in there day by day. I'm trying hard not to get discouraged, but at times, our situation completely overwhelms me. Any time I'm away from Mike, is hard. I'm blessed with the kind of family and friends who know our needs, without my knowing our needs, or needing to ask. God's hand is simply moving us through each day with the help of so many of you. There is a supernatural power moving, it would be absolutely beautiful, if the situation weren't so painful. And even still....it is...and all glory goes to God! I could never thank you enough for being there when I didn't know I needed you. I'm only confident God will bless you for being His servant to me and our family.

Special prayer requests: 1. Mike has developed a cough that doesn't appear to be anything serious (the nurse said his chest sounded fine), but this creates gagging problems for him, which leads to vomiting. 2. Mike needs to eat...somehow...someway. 3. Please pray protection over Mike. He is so thin and fragile right now. The Home Health nurse told us, he cannot be exposed to any viruses what so ever, the shape he's in.

Oh....and one more piece of news, I almost left out............. Remember our dilemma of not finding any of Mike's old medical records? Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was preparing for a garage sale and had found an old Rolodex of Mike's in there from his work in the Dallas area. I flipped through it and recognized a doctor's name and called it. Sure enough, it was Mike's hematologist. I questioned the nurse on the other end about any records dating back about 20 years ago. It was a long shot for sure...and she struggled finding anything, but we got a call today. They have located some records on Mike and are sending them to us. PRAISE GOD! These may not help Mike, but it certainly is important for our children/grandchildren to have this information.

Thank you for your love and support.

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