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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

2.21.2010

My grief barometer has had me all over the place this week....dealing with denial, anger, acceptance, and loneliness. (see stages below) They claim all of this is normal but I feel at times, like I'm going crazy.  I'm so grateful God has placed some recent widows in my life, to show me I'm not.  They have been walking through grief the last couple of years and know firsthand, the varying emotions.  I need these friendships to help me accept my new title in life.  It isn't the type of club anyone wants to join.

God continues to strengthen me and helps me walk forward each day.  I may have setbacks, but I keep getting back up.  Today, I made it back to Sunday School and church.  I know these are baby steps, but I am going forward.  I know my Lord and Savior is patient with me as I learn to walk these days.  I have felt His presence come alongside me and assure me I'm not alone.  That's a promise for keeps!
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