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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

5.21.2010

Leaving the Rest With God!

After two evenings this week, staying up until 1 a.m., I finally completed all of the paperwork for the attorney's, and sent it off in todays mail.  At this point, I've done all I can, and I'm leaving the rest with God.  I will just adjust to whatever He sends my way.  I wish I could say, it's with great faith, I say this.  But it's more like, I'm just flat worn out from fighting. 

Six months have passed without Mike.  I guess this really isn't, just a very bad dream.  I have done my very best to tread water, without my head going under.  I've tried to do things as Mike would do them.  I have tried to be more assertive....more "pro-active", which is completely out of my character.  I've tried everything possible, to be peaceful, yet stand my ground.  Everything has felt like it's backfiring on me.  Maybe it's when I give up, that I get out of God's way enough, to let Him begin working.  I just can't allow these things to weigh on me anymore.  My health is becoming affected, and I don't have Mike to fall back on, when I reach this point.

So, I leave it all there, and I ask for your prayers.  Thank you for being so faithful and standing beside me.
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