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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

7.30.2010

Utter Chaos

My life has turned into utter chaos lately.  I seem to have a million things to do, but I'm accomplishing very little.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.  I guess it could be seen as good, because I have little time to dwell on the past. 

At times, I'm almost taken by surprise when I stumble across something of Mike's, like I have somehow distanced myself from that pain in some way...at least temporarily.  Other times, I stand staring at stacks of items of his, that I'm trying to sort through, and need to decide what to do with...but can't come to a decision on.

The month of August is going to be a full, and a rough one.  There are 8, friend and family, birthday's.  Four anniversary's; one being the 29th, which was Mike's and mine. And the arrival of Alyssa, our newest grandbaby.  There are also a couple of family members who are having health issues that are clearly on my mind.  My mind, if nothing else, is distracted!

To update you:  I have not heard anything more from the Disability/Social Security office.  I'm still waiting.  I am entertaining the idea of selling my home, but haven't begun the process.  It's becoming too exhausting to care for...or else I just need to eat some Wheaties, beef up....and get my hind end in gear! 

Please continue to pray that I will follow God's will for my life, and won't become distracted by any easy ways out.  In the "state of chaos," the potential to miss God's leading could be huge!
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