Two Healthy Responses  (http://www.griefshare.org/)
Day 307

Pastor Buck Buchanan describes two healthy responses that people can have during the grieving process. The first is to be honest about the depth of the pain, but to choose not to be resentful. He says, "My mom was that way after my Dad died. She said, 'I'm not going to feel sorry for myself.'"

Another healthy response is to use the pain to help others. Pastor Buchanan continues, "Take the hurt, embrace the pain, and then realize that it is probably the tool and the gift God has given you to use now. Then begin to minister to other people and share their experiences."

Notice that both responses involve admitting and accepting your pain and choosing to move forward.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded" (James 4:8 nasb).

Lord God, I choose to move forward. I will draw near to You in the midst of my pain. Show me how to respond to the pain in a way that is healthy and that honors You. Amen.



Decide to Move Forward

The most important thing to understand if you are stuck in grief is that only you can make the decision to get unstuck. Only you can make the decision to move on.

Dr. Tim Clinton observes, "You close yourself off from interactions in life that normally would be healthy for you. You're so sorrowed that you close your world in.

You start disengaging from life to control your world. But the more you disengage, the more you've cut off that life supply."

Choose to move forward in your grief--rebuild relationships, serve others in your community, express your emotions, share your story, begin a new sport, hobby, or activity. Your effort to control your life and cut off relational ties will not help anyone, least of all you.

When Ruth lost her husband, she did not disengage from life. Boaz commented on this and said to Ruth, "I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband--how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge" (Ruth 2:11-12). Ruth became the great-grandmother of King David through whose physical lineage came Jesus.

Jesus, I know that I must move on. I am making the decision right now to get myself unstuck from this place in my grief. I need You to replenish my life supply. Amen.