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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

10.20.2010

I'm sorry to confuse some of you with my last post.

I am doing alright.  I'm tired, have been flaring, and have been weary of the battles that seem to be unending.  But I'm coping with all of it the best I can.  Because of this, I have found it easier to avoid "stressing" situations.  Anything I don't "have" to do, I've been avoiding.  I thought this was best for me, but after some counseling recently, I've been advised to push through those feelings and face those giants....possibly because there may be support and comfort there.  We'll see.  I'm just so overwhelmed lately and would love nothing more than to slip under a rock and disappear for a little while.  If only life could be that easy!

I'm missing Mike greatly.  It now has been 325 days without Mike, and today is the 11th month anniversary.  I still wake up asking God "Why?"  I still question how am I going to keep going forward.  I'm incurring roadblocks and battles I never saw coming, and I'm realizing how much Mike and I worked as a team in our family unit.  He really led our family and I stink at this job without him.

I continue to need your prayers.

"Life is painted with watercolors, when sharing it with those you love.  Anything else is just a snapshot.  You see the picture in black and white, but you miss the warmth, the full beauty, and the exuberant color, when shared with others, which brings the picture to life."  --Sonshine
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