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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

12.18.2010

You Are Not the Same

Day 384

You are not the same person you were before. Too much has changed within and without. Do not try to fall back into the same patterns because you will only struggle to fit into a lifestyle that no longer fits. In order to live this new life, you must first identify the areas of your life that you struggle with, and then take steps to learn how to move forward in those areas. For instance, you might find yourself in new situations that you are not comfortable in without your loved one, or you might have new responsibilities that you do not know how to fulfill because your loved one used to take care of them for you.

Here is where you need to grow. God will provide what you need to experience true growth. Pray for wisdom as you develop new patterns of living.

Gretchen says, "My husband could talk to anybody about anything for any length of time, and I just always let him do it. I wasn't a big talker, but the Lord gave me some of that talking ability after he died. And I've been grateful for that because I was very happy in just letting my husband carry the conversation with people. Now, every time I go to something that I really wished I didn't have to go to, I just call on the Lord. The Lord is so faithful. Every single time I get through it and wind up enjoying it."

By God's grace you can be changed. You do not have to try and be the person you were before, because that is not possible. Instead . . .

"Put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:10).

Lord, even though I don't necessarily want to change, I know that I must. Give me confidence and wisdom in the areas that I struggle with. Amen.

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Suggested reading from the GriefShare HelpCenter

Embracing Life Again
by Gwen Bagne
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