Heart aches are never fun.  And this week has been rough on my heart, marking the 2nd anniversary of Mike's passing.

The time that goes by from last talking with him.  Since last being held in his arms.  From hearing his comforting voice........bleeds out my heart.

I miss his presence.  I miss his sense of humor.  I'm miss his friendship.  I miss the way my heart leaped when I saw him coming home to me.

I loved becoming grandparents together.  I loved how we played in the yard chasing those babies around and falling in a heap together in the grass, giggling.  I have so many sweet, precious memories, and cherish them with everything inside of me.  But... there are moments when I feel the void so deeply, it just plain hurts, seeing my children and grandchildren without Mike.

I played with both of my grandson's and granddaughter's this week.  With the boys, I purposely spoke of their PawPa "She-She."  I wanted them to remember his love for them.  And I wanted them to remember that heaven is a place where we all can be together again, if we place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ, and receive Him as our Lord and our Savior one day.

They are young and still need time to completely see their need for a Savior, but Mike would be sharing this message and the Christmas story with them every Christmas morning, if he could...and I vow to follow in his footsteps.

Though loss is painful, I'm deeply grateful to God, for His love and provision for me.  He has brought a sweet and tender man into my life, to be a friend and companion, the remainder of our lives together.  It didn't come exactly as I had expected.  It certainly hasn't been easy at times, either.  But, Glenn has been such a blessing to me and I love him.

I'm not the only woman who has placed her faith and trust in her Lord, even when life, or the future, didn't make sense right away.  I'm just one of many in the Bible, who kept trusting, feeling unworthy of God's love and forgiveness.

I'm a broken vessel, full of holes.  I'm not bold or courageous...nor am I filled with fancy words or talent.  I'm only human, placing all my faith and trust in Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of my sins. With that I receive His free gift of saving grace, and the promise of spending eternity in heaven with Him.

I have made many mistakes along the way in my life...and know I'm not perfect.  But I can honestly say, I have done my very best to do His will, to trust Him with all aspects of my life, confess my sins, and bring His name glory and honor.  I have never intended to hurt or offend anyone with sharing my heart. 

I have spent the past three years using this blog as an avenue to update everyone on Mike's health, progress and decline.  It has also been therapeutic in helping me walk through this broken road, but I'm beginning to feel this blog may have fulfilled its purpose and should close, or take off in a different direction.

Thank you for your prayers, for all of your cards, gifts and help.  There is no way I can possibly ever make that up to you.  I was undeserving, but humbly grateful.  I hope it suffices to know, it was always deeply appreciated, even if the pain of these last two years, kept me from sharing my heart the way you had hoped or expected.

Now, I need to move forward, the only way I know how.  One step at a time.  I pray God brings you love and blessing to the fullest.  I hope your holidays are filled with every joy.  I also pray you never have to walk this difficult journey ever, and that if you do, you are met with as much love and support as I have.  God has been good to me.

Mike, I will always love you with everything inside of me.  Lord, thank You for your unconditional love.  You are everything to me.

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 Soaking up a little lovin...from my grandbabies recently.

My Four Legged Children

And I know these next couple of pictures may look like I've lost my mind, but...because of my pups skin problems recently, we've needed to shave them and they get cold and shiver.  So....everyone (Glenn's dogs included) got a little coat to wear...even though it isn't easy to get 4 dogs to pose for a picture!

Update on My Foot

I saw the orthopedic surgeon today in LR.  I broke two bones in my right foot last June while moving, and despite having the plaster casts and walking boot on for 10 weeks, it is believed they are still broken.  I have gotten by with walking on the outside of my right foot, keeping the weight off the ball of it.  One sesamoid bone may have fused to some degree, but xrays make it appear the other bone is still quite far apart.  So a CT scan is scheduled in LR, Dec. 5th, to determine what is actually there.  It is almost definite pins will be inserted during surgery, or the bones in question will be excised (or removed.)  So that's the latest on that! :-)  Should be good as new eventually!