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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

7.03.2012

On the Therapy Couch




This has been an interesting and productive week for me as I have been working together with my Christian counselor on some issues that have been weighing down my heart for several months now. 

Going into sessions like these, it is easy for me to shoulder blame and beat myself  up on things that I literally have no control of.  My counselor gave me some references from the bible to consider and pray about.   

Romans 12:18
  "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

and

Mark 12: 30-31
 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”



My counselor pointed out to me, there is danger in placing others interests above my own, especially if it's at the stake of being walked on myself, and when it develops into an emotionally, mental or physical abusive relationship.

I recognize I make plenty of mistakes and I try very hard to ask for forgiveness when I feel I need to make something right.  I'll even go the second mile, so to say, just to keep peace.  But I've learned this week, there is a line I shouldn't cross over trying to be a peacemaker, because many relationships can be toxic and manipulation is their M.O.  My counselor suggested yeilding to what I feel isn't always the correct answer.  Drawing boundaries and insisting on the same respect is!

Lord God, I confess that this is an area I have wrestled with most of my adult life.  And now, after actively seeking Christian guidance for the past year or more, I'm realizing that I have made a pattern in my life to let others take unneccesary advantage of me.  Lord, I'm not bold, or eloquent in fancy vocabulary.  I can not out talk the best of them.  But I do have a big heart and pray that You would help me.  Be my Sheild and Provider.  Be the Arrow that needs to pierce the hearts of men.  Open my heart to feel more love and understanding and direct me in Your paths.



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