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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

11.09.2013

I Can't Let Go

It's November! The crisp days and the gorgeous color of the leaves are breath taking.  A doctor appointment in Fayetteville became a beautiful drive going north.

 But it is also those same signs of the season that remind me of four years ago, letting go of my grip of Mike.  Many probably think that after this time I should be finished with the grief of losing my husband, Matt and Amber's  father, but memories are so etched in my mind and heart.  I believe this heartache will never leave.  The sounds, the holiday decorations in the stores, the preparations for family to be together....Mike's face is what I see.  And the deep pain resurfaces and I don't quite know what to do with it.  This is the month to express gratitude and thanksgiving.  And I do....of the wonderful man Mike was.  The loving father to our children and grandchildren.  We were truly blessed, and if he were still here, I would hug him tight and never let go.
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