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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

8.12.2008


(My father and his wife a few months before he had his heart attack.)
One year ago today I lost my dad. It has been a tough day having that on my mind, but I'm thankful I will one day see him again.

It's been an up and down type day for Mike. He slept well overnight without the oxygen, but after he got up and got dressed this morning, he began feeling pretty bad. So we ended up putting him back on the oxygen and gave him his pain and nausea medication to get everything back under control. He slept a little more this afternoon and seems to be doing well this evening off the oxygen again.

No new decisions have been made about our trip. We still haven't heard from AngelFlight yet about a possible flight. I'm not quite sure if they'll just call us back and say nothing is available, or if we'll need to wait up until the last moment to find out.

Because the oxygen issue is still present, we're not sure it wouldn't be just better to go ahead and drive down. We've learned to rent a portable oxygen concentrator for a flight down, it will cost us about $400 to rent just for a week. That just seems like a waste of money when we do have other options. To fly SW...we're just a little apprehensive about delays, given what happened in June on my flight to my stepfather's funeral, but this is a direct flight and I'm hoping everything would be on time.

AngelFlight sounds like the best route, because Mike is proving he can be off of oxygen for a couple of hours at a time with really no huge problems...and we have already tentatively set up getting oxygen in Houston so Mike can have it when we arrive. So details are still trying to be worked out on all of this.

Please pray for the courage I will need to face these next two doctor appointments with Mike.(This Thursday's appt. with Dr. Sneed at 8:45 a.m., and next Wednesday's appt. in Houston with Dr. Vauthey at 10:30 a.m.) I'm feeling a lot of fear; worrying what the doctors will say.

I'm grateful I can come to you with the big and small issues of prayer.

"Praise be to You, The Lord My Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. You are my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield in whom I take refuge. Part Your heavens, O Lord, and come down; touch the mountains, so that they smoke. Send forth lightening and scatter the enemy; shoot Your arrows and rout them. Reach down Your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me!" Psalm 144:1-2, 5-7
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