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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

4.30.2009

Things were a little rough earlier today. Mike and I were on the computer, and on the phone, trying to find an answer to our present insurance dilemma (coverage for me), and Mike ended up so upset, we just had to stop and put it aside for awhile.

In normal conditions, dealing with insurance issues wouldn't be too difficult...but when you are already trying to navigate your way through so many road blocks, it becomes emotionally exhausting. I can't tell you how many online applications I would fill out, only to get to the end, and find ourselves back where we started.

It doesn't appear I'm going to find an insurer who will cover my pre-existing health problems. One company suggested we also purchase a high-risk policy for me (like we had to do for Mike), but I'm not even sure they would accept my situation, and the cost would just be too much. So, we're considering just getting catastrophic coverage for me, and pay for the other as we go along.

Even though we haven't formally been guaranteed coverage for Mike's high risk insurance, we have completed all the paperwork, and things should be in place in a couple of weeks. Our former "Goody's" insurance ends today, so we were also on the phone with the high-risk insurer trying to figure out how to pay for the oral chemotherapy Mike needs to buy, to begin taking Tuesday. The oral chemotherapy is $3000 for this cycle, so we wanted to make sure that amount of money was going to be applied to our deductible with that insurer. That was all worked out. So that brought Mike a little relief.

I feel your prayers...........because some days, it would be too easy, to just lie down and collapse under the weight of it all. When we're overwhelmed, I just keep trying to move forward, and before I know it, I'm standing again, ready to face another challenge. So praise God, for His merciful hand and His daily strength, and thank you for being a shoulder we can lean on...and a warrior on your knees.

"My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
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