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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.
I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.
At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett
"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)
6.02.2009
Overnight, Mike woke me up to tell me he was feeling remarkably better. I was groggy, but I remember thinking, "How can this be when things were so dire last night?" He confirmed it this morning when I asked him how he slept and he said, "Like a baby!"
We went on to lab and the doctor's office. Mike asked the oncologist, "Is it possible for Nexium to work so quickly, and resolve this stomach pressure and esophagus pain?" The doctor said "YES!" Evidently, these treatments are causing Mike more trouble than he's ever had with acid reflux, making him absolutely miserable three days, thinking he wasn't processing or digesting food. He had me so worried, that I feared his liver was trying to shut down. I would see him in so much pain where he wouldn't even talk to me. Then I found the blood and decreased bile secretion, when I tried to attach the bags. I didn't know what we would be told today but I was certain we would be heading for the hospital in LR for sure.
Mike wouldn't allow me to bring the blood and drainage issue up to the oncologist today...for fear the doctor would send us on to LR to have it checked out. Mike feels if the pain is gone, then the Nexium's working, and the rest is no big deal. I tried to argue against that approach, but I've learned it's futile. He can be the worst patient some times!!!
The labs today showed that Mike's counts were normal...with the exception of a tiny bit of anemia. We didn't receive a bilirubin count today yet, but hopefully, when I call later on, they'll give us that number. We got the results from the TSH test done, and it was normal, with only a very slight elevation, unnecessary to treat with any thyroid medication.
After treatment today, Mike was famished and wanted lunch. So he treated us to Western Sizzling...where he finally ate a decent meal. Hopefully, eating early like this, if he were to have the same painful symptoms as he has had the last three days; it's early enough in the afternoon to digest this meal better. Right now, he's in bed sleeping off the treatment. We also learned today that if need be, Mike can actually take two of the Nexium, which is comforting to know.
I believe Nexium is wonderful. I praise God for giving us a solution to this problem. I've taken Nexium before, and found it to be better too. Our insurance wouldn't pay for it before, and it's likely our new insurance won't either, but this is going to need to be a necessary drug for Mike, given his symptoms the past few days. I don't care what it costs!
I don't believe Nexium was the only answer in our situation, though. I believe all of your prayers have kept us going. I have seen too many doctors faces, or heard their remarks about Mike's situation enough, to know that we're still in this fight, because of a power bigger than us, an attitude of determination for survival, and because of help far beyond what any capsule could do. God's mercy and grace, and your love, concern, and steadfast prayers have held us tight, and kept us strong.
May God bless every one of you!
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