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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

6.03.2009

Mike was a sight today! He showed up at my work so we could eat lunch together, and he had red blotches all over his face and arms. I persuaded him to drive by the oncology office to have the chemotherapy nurse check him out. She made note of it in Mike's file, and notified the doctor in LR. She didn't act alarmed.

Another new side effect he is experiencing is tenderness on his heels. It's painful for him to walk today. This was described to us as the "hand/foot syndrome" that comes along with the Xeloda. It is also causing Mike's hands and fingers to peel. It has amazingly peeled away a skin growth Mike has had for years on his arm, so we have to give it some credit!

After Mike ran a few errands, he went home, and took a nap.......until 7:30 p.m. I think he was tuckered out because he couldn't sleep again last night from the steroids. He remembers seeing the clock say 3 a.m., so I'm sure he was exhausted. After he woke up he wanted me to scramble him eggs and toast for dinner. He wanted something light so he could have the chance to digest it well before sleeping. We're eating breakfast often, for dinner, it seems. I hope I don't forget how to cook!

He is needing to take the Nexium twice a day now. Maybe he'll be able to taper it down once things begin healing. It is surprising me how much he still has trouble, even though he's taking it twice a day. Whatever keeps him comfortable is all I care about.

Thanks again for checking in on Mike and praying for us.

"Lord God, You are the Great I Am. This is Your name forever! My enemy cannot begin to stand against You." Exodus 3:14-15

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