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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

6.04.2009

Everyday is an adventure, and today is no different! Mike woke up this morning with incredible discomfort in the bottom of his feet. He has been walking (or more like wobbling) around all day, gingerly. I'm going to look for some cushioned socks to help alleviate some of this hand/foot syndrome he's experiencing. It comes as a side effect of Xeloda.

Mike's red blotches are still visible, but to me they have lightened out some. He has absolutely no strength at all today, but he has been awake more, and that made mealtime a little more normal. His digestion problems seem to have improved with taking two Nexium a day. I believe his limited bile secretions might have been because of dehydration. Mike has limited drinking fluids when he's felt that full feeling all day. This seems to have improved. His breathing is labored when he tries to walk around, so when I'm not here, he sometimes needs to wait for me to help him do some things.

Mike's comment to me this evening was that he was glad for the side effects, because it is then, he feels like they might be doing something beneficial. We continue to trust God for a miracle.

Thank you for your prayers and expressions of love.

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