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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

6.05.2009

Mike called me at work today to let me know he was feeling much better than he did yesterday. He didn't want to worry me. When I came home, Amber and Ethan were at our house, waiting for Zac to come home from the golf course. They invited Mike and I out this evening to eat dinner at Cracker Barrel. Mike was able to get out of the house and enjoy some Cod. His appetite was pretty good.

The red blotches on some areas of Mike's body is alarming to me. I have to keep reminding myself this is normal to those who take Xeloda. The areas on his side are particularly bad from the bandages we need to constantly remove, and reapply, daily. I'm applying antibiotic ointment to those areas, and trying to re-bandage in creative ways to avoid taping over open wounds, but it doesn't look like we're making any progress healing them. I tried to lightly rub some Eucerin on Mike's feet this evening and he flinched constantly from the pain. I'm afraid to see what Mike is going to look like on his "week off" treatment, next week. The last cycle, his symptoms seemed to worsen.

Anyway, he's hanging in there, and I think it did us both wonders to see Ethan and his parents. Now we'll just need to snag Drew and his mommy and daddy! :)

Mike and I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

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