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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

7.26.2009

Mike and I were expecting some sort of set back today, since lately he takes one step forward, and two back. But Mike had another good day today. We went to church, even though it was the second service, instead of our usual earlier one. Mike felt so grateful to be in God's house, and to listen to the sermon. The only problem he had was becoming extremely achy sitting in the pew, with nothing more than bone meeting wood. I've talked him into letting me bring a blanket or pillow for him next time. He hates to do anything that would draw any attention to himself, but I feel he needs to let that go and be comfortable.

Today, I've been overwhelmingly grateful, reflecting on all of our family and friends. In church, I would see one person after another who have gone way out of their way to say hello to us, who have sacrificed on our behalf, and who care so deeply. Mike and I wish we could just thank you over and over again, for going the extra mile for us. Your visits to the hospital, your prayers over Mike and our family, your cards or emails of encouragement, your responding to needs we didn't know how to solve, your simple reminders "I'm praying for you!", just replay over and over again in our hearts.

And our children and grandchildren..........there is nothing more perious than a night like last night with them. They have had a lot to weather with this situation, being young adults and new parents. They have had to fill in so many times when Mike and I haven't been able to do things. But they have also had to face the constant fear of losing their dad, and emotionally, their mom. That is a heavy load for them to carry.

Mike and I stand amazed when we go to a church service we usually don't attend at that hour, and people walk up to us and tell us they have been reading this blog and praying for us. You could never know how comforting and tender that is to us. To not be forgotten and to be blessed by someone reaching out to us and introducing themselves. At times like these, people can generally walk away from those struggling with heavy situations in their lives. They don't want to become involved for many reasons. Mike and I feel so blessed that you haven't walk away from us and you're ready and anxious to stand in the gap on our behalf. We are so blessed!!!

We wait apprehensively for Tuesday morning. I will be honest and admit Mike and I are filled with fear. It is going to be difficult getting up that morning, and sitting in the waiting room to be called back, and waiting to hear what we're going to be told. The appointment is around 8:30 a.m. We would appreciate your holding us up with your prayers for that doctor appointment.

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