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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

10.27.2009

Road Block

Mike and I went to speech therapy this morning.  I had just about enough time to fill out the five pages of paperwork, when we learned our insurance...yes, that expensive Blue Cross/Blue Shield CHIP plan I'm back at work trying to pay for....won't pay for the services Mike needs.  The only way they informed everyone they would pay anything towards this, would be if Mike was an inpatient.  I hardly think it's necessary for Mike to be admitted to the hospital, but just how crucial do they feel swallowing is to someone who has dropped 50 pounds of weight, is down to 124 pounds, and can't swallow food well?!   The stupidity of it all is so sickening some times!

Christy, who happens to be the speech therapist, was so kind.  Despite the ruling, she invited Mike and I back to her office briefly to explain Mike's situation to us, and to give us some helpful exercises he can do in the meantime.  Ideally, she would like to see Mike 3-4 times a week for six weeks, to make any substantial progress.  She said, we could get by on half of the time if need be.  Mike and I asked how much a visit would cost, but we weren't given that information today.  All we were given was a name of someone at the hospital who might be willing to give us financial counseling to set up some kind of payment plan to pay for this. (this clinic is partnered with the hospital)  We tried to find this person at the hospital, immediately after the appointment, but she was out of her office today.  So...................we'll wait and see how God will answer this problem.

Nervous energy is already mounting for tomorrows appointment with the oncologist.  I pray God will calm the raging storm within our hearts and carry us through that day, through those moments.