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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

1.09.2010

Perspective

Borrowing from what I emailed a friend earlier today:

I have been making a point this week of filling the voids in my life, or trying to resolve issues, with God and God only. My grief is so new, and not under any kind of control, that I feel it would be disasterous if I made any quick or abrupt decisions based on how I am feeling right now.

I think my emotions, being all over the place, is making me vulnerable to what people say...good advice or maybe not so good. Their suggestions may very well be God's plan for my life, but it could also be the wrong move. I'm just trying to listen to God a little more closely to be sure. I'm also trying to learn to be more comfortable in my new skin...so to say. I'm very insecure without Mike right now, and it's too easy for me to let others redirect me. I'm feeling I need to step back and let God take the lead on my future....instead of trying to "fix" everything myself. This road is looking like it is going to be a long trip...so to say...before I know where I want to go or what I want to do. You can pray for me that I would be only sensitive to God's voice with these small and large decisions.
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