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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

2.10.2010

I entered a new club this evening.  An online grief support group.  Kind of drug my feet in joining....but when you're lonely...you get desperate, or if nothing else....BOLD. This particular group is not a Christian support group. I'm not sure how much support is there, but all of them seemed friendly.  Only thing, I learned real quick that I need to type faster..to stay up with them.  They must all text, because I sat there puzzled the first few minutes wondering, what G2G, brb, and K meant. :)  They speak in a whole different language, and this was a 50's and Up, Widow club!  Better find me a translation book! ;)

Had a tiny hurdle to get over earlier, but am doing better.  A wave of sadness came over me, so I was trying to think of what to do to get myself out of my funk.  So I ordered a salad to go...and picked it up after work.  Got all the way home and learned it was fish!  For anyone who doesn't know this fact about me............there is nothing worse to me than seafood!  If it swims in water...I don't eat it.  I kept wondering on the way home why the smell of my salad was nauseating me.  So, there went dinner tonight!  Tomorrow....I'm supposedly getting salad...and not only that....free coupons because of their mistake. YeeHaw!  By the time all of that took place, I misplaced my funk.  Now I was only frustrated and hungry!

I was thinking about Valentine's Day this week and how lucky I have been to have over half of my life blessed with such unconditional love and faithfulness.  In Mike's eyes, I made no mistakes.  That wasn't necessarily true about me, but I was always told that by Mike.  I don't remember an unkind word from him.  He was always reminding me of the "gift" I was to him.  Always saw the best in me, and made me aware that no one could ever love me as much as he did.  I'm beginning to think, this is true.  I don't know why God took him home so soon.  I struggle with that some days.  But I never can deny I've lived a blessed life.  He packed a lifetime of love in those 35 years.  What a legacy for our children.  I pray they will follow their father's example to cherish their spouses always.  Never hold back in sharing how they feel.  You  never know what tomorrow brings.  And ALWAYS go the extra mile.....give 125%.  Be as selfless as he was.  That's a real valentine gift!

"I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange or payment." --Frances Farmer
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