Caseworkers Phone Call

Had the conversation late today with the caseworker.  I became very discouraged at the beginning of our conversation, when she told me the reason I didn't get offered the help, was because I was already working.  This is frustrating, because my Rheumatologist in Fayetteville, gave Mike and I bad information.  He told me last spring its easier to be approved if you were working part time at least.  So...my chances may be lost now.  She asked for additional information and plans to discuss it over with the attorney.  Then they will get back with me to tell me if they think we have any chance of an appeal.  So....again.....I wait. 

I'm praying God will make His will very clear whether I need to leave this home, or make any other difficult decisions.  I'm reaching a point where I'm recognizing there is very little I can do to steer this ship through unknown territory.  I only pray that I hear God's will clearly and my heart will get out of His way.

This week marks 6 months since losing Mike.  I want to be with him so much it hurts.  I don't know how I'll ever get through this, although what choice do I have?  It seems possible if I take things one day at a time.  Looking too far down the road causes me to want to give up the fight.

There is a new support group that will begin here in town for those who are grieving, called Grief Share.  I have included on my blog Grief Shares daily devotions and encouragement for awhile now, and they have been a true blessing to at least me.  I'm anxious to be a part of a real live group as soon as they look over all the material and set a date.  The pastor of the church returned my call today and said they want to begin it very soon.  I am so desperate for people I can talk to about my feelings...without having to worry about what I'm saying, how it is being received, or if it is being misunderstood.  Maybe this will be an answer for me.