Life's Battles & Losses

"God's grace is a wonderful gift to humankind. Grace is God's love freely offered to us. We do not do anything to "earn" it. Take a moment and reflect upon how you have experienced God's grace in your life.  Is there any possible way you can extend God's grace, unmerited favor, to those around you?"

I wake up lately with a new challenge before me.  I remember, not so long ago, days when the only decision, was what I "wanted" to do that day.  Instead, I'm struggling now with misunderstandings, a frightening, new "way of life," and huge decisions that impact my future.

I wasn't prepared for the spiritual battles following losing those you love.  I was naive and thought, with that large of a sacrifice, God would spare me from further attacks, at least for a little while.  I had faced the worst....and some how was left standing....if only by the grace of God.

Then around the corner came more physical loss...losing another family member.  And my faith began shaking, in the belief God wouldn't put anymore on me than He thought I could handle.  I was struggling already without Mike.  But now this? 

With my heart wrenched with pain, doubled by watching the pain on my family's faces...hearing desperations in their cries, it's all left me questioning how God could see us through this too. Never in a million years would I ever have imagined the amount of grief our family would bear, virtually all at one time.  Never before, did I even entertain the thought anything could divide us or shatter us physically and emotionally.  Where understanding, was only left hanging by a thread.

We need each other so much and at times, we seem to be the farthest apart, physically and emotionally. 

I feel a spiritual battle is what I'm facing now.  The divisions are of his character.  The lack of understanding is his creation. The war being raged is intense.  It tries to rob us of any peace, any understanding, and most importantly, loving arms to fall into and be comforted by.

I'm thankful God promises to be with us in ALL things.  If He thinks I can handle all of this, who am I to questioned what He allows?  But I have a sore heart and a tear soaked pillow.  And I plan to bring it up with Him one day, in hope that I'll better understand His plan and His purpose for all of this.

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12).