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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

11.21.2010

An Anniversary

An anniversary, like yesterdays, is not the kind people enjoy noting.  It has been 365 days since we lost Mike.  He fought valiantly to hang on to his life for 2 1/2 years, and I have found it hard going on this past year, without him at my side.  I found my world literally turned upside down.

Saturday was much like the other 364 days, but along with it, came this foreboding thought...this is really real!  Not just some horrible nightmare I will eventually wake up from.  I spent time the last few days thinking about where I'm at, and where I want to go. I came to realize I can either pull myself together, or allow this circumstance to cripple me for the remainder of my life, and constantly live in the past. I choose to live the remainder of my life doing whatever God's purpose is for me.

I have made tiny steps the last year, stepping out in faith, and surrounding myself with other friends in the same place, hoping to use any gift I may have, to help them, as well as myself.  Most times, this has been a positive experience.  In the least, it kept me busy some of the time, and I met some wonderful new friends.

What I would like to do with this blog, is to go forward from here.  To move past the memory of the deep wound from the past 3 1/2 years; and to try and build a new future.  There is nothing wrong with reminiscencing over a beautiful love story, or retelling the world about a wonderful man I use to know.  But my prayer is that God will fill my days with new praises and new journeys I can share here.

Thank you to each family member or friend, who has prayed for me, and given me their shoulder to lean on.  I am still standing because of God's grace and you.

Beverly
sonshineshaven@suddenlink.net
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