If you were to ask me 10 years ago, where I would be today, I would have answered, "Right at Mike's side, having a blast, as usual!" We spent 35 happy years together, with EVERY intention on celebrating 50 years, and beyond! But life, throws obstacles in your way, at times, and you are forced into a direction so far away from what you would have ever thought.
Losing Mike to cancer in 2009 was one of those obstacles that reversed my dreams forever. The children, grandchildren, family and I, are still trying to deal with that loss. Our prayers were not answered for Mike's complete healing here on earth. We've had to accept an alternate plan, and trust in God's sovereignty. We know Mike is in a better place, and we know he is in heaven, and we look forward to our reunion with him one day. But the process of loss has brought feelings into our lives that we've needed to adust to, and to say things have been difficult, would be putting it mildly! We've had to exercise mercy and grace in ways never imagined. Individually, we have all tried to pick ourselves up, and go on, as best we could as Mike would have wanted us to.
I struggled deeply with loneliness and depression this past year. At times, I wanted to check out, just to be with Mike. I came to a place where, I needed to decide, do I shut down completely, or get up, and move forward anyway I can? Many widows are content living a life alone. But, because of my deep love for Mike, and the intense friendship we shared, I longed for companionship deeply. I didn't want to be a lifetime burden to my children. I wanted them to keep going after their own dreams and living their own lives. I wanted and needed someone who understood exactly where I was coming from. That is where "Faith Keepers" came in to play.
"Faith Keepers", is a singles group, I formed to help others and myself. It has been a small group of about 12-15 people, meeting occasionally over the last year. We have eaten out together, gone bowling, played minature golf, walked through a corn maize and went on a hayride, learned some line dances, played some games, and just plain socialized outside of church. But we've also had opportunities to get alone, to share our grief stories with one another, and find common ground and caring hearts.
Not intending on finding friendship; let alone love again; I became close friends with an "Officer and a Gentleman," named Glenn, who lost his wife of 30 years after a lengthy illness. I met him through the church where I work. He stopped by to visit the pastor, knew I had lost my husband, and we sat together and chatted, trying to be supportive to one another. He decided to take a "Grief Share" class with me at another local church, and began coming to our "Faith Keepers'" activities. We quickly became good friends. Over time, we developed a deeper friendship and trust. We traveled to Florida together, to take some time just to heal from the past year, and relax...and our relationship grew even more.
Glenn is retired from the Navy. He has been all over the world and I enjoy spending hours listening to all of his stories. He has four grown children, four children-in-law, and six grandchildren. He loves serving at his church, working in the sound booth, and his hobby at home, is wood-working. He makes some beautiful pieces of furniture. More importantly, he is a Christian with a huge heart!!! He adores children and I've rarely seen him without a smile on his face. He has been such a blessing to me.
We have been dating for several months now and our relationship is growing deeper. He will always love his wife, and I will always love Mike...but we both believe deep in our heart God has placed us together for a greater purpose, and Mike and Doris would support our happiness.
We would appreciate your prayers as we continue to follow God's leading in our relationship, and we pray you will support us, and be happy along with us, as God turns our "mourning into dancing."
"God's famous promise to us is that in His kingdom, there is no hurting or mourning or tears. In His kingom, He will comfort us, wipe away our tears, and heal our deepest wounds."
"God not only lifts our sorrow and despair, but he gives us a new reason to rejoice and be happy. This verse praises God for transforming despair into dancing." Psalm 30:11
No comments:
Post a Comment