"Accepting hardship as a means of growth is a radical concept in this world.  Even more extreme is the believer who praises the Lord for the storm.  But God's follower's have cause to rejoice.  Tribulation increases our patience so that we can stand firm of his promises and await His good timing."

 

 

-Charles Stanley

From: A Widow's Might

A Detour?

Posted: 31 Oct 2012 01:03 PM PDT

by Leah Stirewalt

As we tiptoe closer to those often-marked events that can wreak havoc in the life of a grieving widow, I’m reminded of a place I found myself this time last year. A place I had to stop and ponder – several times over – whether or not I belonged there or was truly there to begin with.

The place?

The Road of Healing.

 

I had been trudging along what I still dub, Grief Road, going through the motions of my new normal. I had some good days and many, many bad days, but I could see a gradual change in the good vs. the bad. Overall, I felt I was doing pretty well, considering having gone through the loss of my husband to suicide within the past year. I honestly didn’t know where I was on Grief Road, but I knew that I could sense God healing me…in His own way, and in His own timing BUT with my determination and deep desire to allow Him to do it.

 

So, what caused me to stop and ponder on that definitive day around this time last year, when I felt my two roads – Grief Road and The Road of Healing – had converged? It was the feeling of being suckerpunched. Suddenly – I felt as if my world had stopped, yet again. To me, it seemed as if it came out of nowhere. But, I vividly remember the realization I felt when I noticed the holiday season was coming up quickly, and I would not be spending it with my sweet husband that year. Oh, the ache I felt at that sudden insight.

 

I began to wobble on that supposed Road of Healing. Suddenly, I felt I had taken a detour along a new road. It looked similar to Grief Road, but yet different. I felt so unsure on this new road and so shaky. I felt I was a foreigner on very unforgiving soil. I began to listen to my own thoughts…

 

You have a long way to go.

You’ve had a setback in your healing.

You’re nowhere where you thought you were.

See? The grieving process will never end.

Oh, the thoughts! The ugly, self-defeating thoughts.

 

Thankfully, with the help of some friends, I began to see the untruths of those thoughts. Yes – it was a very difficult time that had just crested in my life. The waves were going to be crashing again. But, they don’t last forever. Just like the waves in the ocean can’t stay in one place forever, this place of pain would also not last. It was very difficult, but I found walking directly into that place of pain, rather than trying to avoid it, actually helped me to get to the other side even more healed than I was when I began.

 

A setback? Hardly! I was being way too hard on myself. It was all a normal part of the process. I just had to come to that realization myself. It’s okay to be moving along The Road of Healing to discover a momentary detour. It’s okay to cry…to scream…to feel deep loneliness…to be angry…a whole host of other emotions on this detour. Just don’t get off the detour and make your own path. Keep moving…keep walking, and if you simply can’t walk right now…allow God to carry you. He just wants you to ask.

 

Isaiah 42:16 (NIV1984)…

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

"The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying.  He fears nothing from prayless studies, prayless work, and prayless religion.  He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray."  By: Samuel Chadwick

"Contrary to popular opinion, God doesn't sit in heaven with His jaws clenched.  His arms folded in disapproval, with a deep frown on His face.  He is not ticked off at His children for all the times we trip over our tiny feet and fall flat on our diapers.  He is a loving Father, and we are precious in His sight, the delight of His heart.  After all, He "has qualified us to share in His inheritance of the saints in light."  Think of it!  He's put us in His inheritance!"        by Chuck Swindoll       (Colossians 1:12)

The Lucky One

“In the blink of an eye, something happens by chance - when you least expect it - sets you on a course that you never planned, into a future you never imagined.”

                                                       ― Nicholas Sparks

Living through Suffering

"We aren't just thrown on this earth like dice tossed across the table. We are sovereignly and lovingly placed here for a purpose.

God has given us a purpose for our existence, a reason to go on, even though that existence includes tough times.  Living through suffering, we become sanctified--in other words, set apart for the glory of God.  We gain perspective.  We grow deeper.  We grow up!"
                                                                             ----Charles Stanley

"Earthly life may hold pain and anguish, abandonment and few faithful friends, but when it is over, joy will be ours--one so great that all sorrow is forgotten forever.  Perhaps that is why we must get new bodies at the resurrection; our mortal bodies cannot contain such intense joy.  As my friend lost her battle with cancer, those close to her were comforted to know the best was yet to come for her, and for us as believers." by Ginger Garrett

Sacred Sorrow

"At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another.  We will be unable to affect the outcome physically.  Words will fail us.  Prayer will seem futile.  And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy."     by Ginger Garrett 

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES!  But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me) 

The Dresser

Glenn has been working for weeks building a beautiful walnut lingerie dresser for me to have in our bathroom.  It is to replace a dresser I stuck in there, mainly to give me a place to put a mirror so I can do my hair and makeup.  He has been patiently crafting this piece, bit by bit.  Slowly dragging it all out to work on.  And then slowly putting it all away again so we can get at least one car in the garage. And this beautiful piece of furniture will be something I treasure always, not only because I see all of the time he's put into it, but I can see all of the love he has put into it as well.

Time and effort are important in any matter....In any relationship....In any thing.  I put time into raising my family.  Mike put time in providing for our family.  We put time into making our home a haven for our children. Loving them completely and as deeply as we could. I put time into teaching my children in a way God laid upon my heart at the time.  It was a day in day out commitment.

I'm sure we made plenty of mistakes over the years, and the critic could find fault with one thing or another, if they looked close enough.  But we did the best we knew how, trying to follow our hearts in the direction we felt God was leading us.

Many can look at my children's and my life now, and judge it.  I know there are imperfections.  Probably numerous ones.  But I hope the best of the critics will take time to look at the good as well.  No one needs to tear anything down.  There was time and love invested.  It was a part of Mike's legacy, and it will also be mine.

Sour Dough Bread

Sourdough Starter

Years ago a friend gave me a recipe for making homemade bread that was easy and convenient to have on hand everyday.  Not only did the starter make great everyday bread but could also make delicious homemade sweet rolls, coffee cake, apple and blueberry braids, etc.

To make the starter mix together:

3/4 cup sugar
3 tbsp. instant potato flakes
1 cup warm water
1/4 tsp. active yeast (this is optional)


Let the mixture sit on your counter or in a warm area of your home for about 3 days. Every 3 – 5 days you need to feed your starter. This means that every 3 – 5 days you can make your bread. Or, you can feed it once or twice before baking your bread. If you feed it more than once, you will have extra starter to either give away to a friend or bake extra batches of bread.
The day (8 – 12 hours) before you want to bake your bread, you need to feed the starter. You will feed the starter the above mixture except you do not add the yeast. Keep your starter in a warm place to allow it to “grow” and sour. On the days you are not baking bread, you can leave it in the refrigerator or on your counter. Putting it in fridge slows the sourdough down.


To make the bread:

1/3 cup sugar (this optional, but I like to add it)
1 1/2 cup warm water
6 cups bread flour or all-purpose flour
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup starter
1 tbsp. salt

Mix all the ingredients together into a smooth rounded ball.  Then place this ball of dough in a bowl.  Toss the ball around in about a tablespoon of oil and cover.  Let rise in a warm spot for about 8 hours.

After this, punch down dough and knead just enough to get out the air bubbles.  Divide dough into about three balls and place into bread pans if you are making just bread, or you can also spilt the batch and make some sweet breads as well.

Let rise for another 5+ hours and then bake at 350 degrees for about 35-45 minutes.  I tend to underbake mine slightly to have a thicker density.
1 tbsp. yeast (optional – the bread will rise higher)

On the Therapy Couch

This has been an interesting and productive week for me as I have been working together with my Christian counselor on some issues that have been weighing down my heart for several months now. 

Going into sessions like these, it is easy for me to shoulder blame and beat myself  up on things that I literally have no control of.  My counselor gave me some references from the bible to consider and pray about.   

Romans 12:18

  "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

and

Mark 12: 30-31

 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”



My counselor pointed out to me, there is danger in placing others interests above my own, especially if it's at the stake of being walked on myself, and when it develops into an emotionally, mental or physical abusive relationship.

I recognize I make plenty of mistakes and I try very hard to ask for forgiveness when I feel I need to make something right.  I'll even go the second mile, so to say, just to keep peace.  But I've learned this week, there is a line I shouldn't cross over trying to be a peacemaker, because many relationships can be toxic and manipulation is their M.O.  My counselor suggested yeilding to what I feel isn't always the correct answer.  Drawing boundaries and insisting on the same respect is!

Lord God, I confess that this is an area I have wrestled with most of my adult life.  And now, after actively seeking Christian guidance for the past year or more, I'm realizing that I have made a pattern in my life to let others take unneccesary advantage of me.  Lord, I'm not bold, or eloquent in fancy vocabulary.  I can not out talk the best of them.  But I do have a big heart and pray that You would help me.  Be my Sheild and Provider.  Be the Arrow that needs to pierce the hearts of men.  Open my heart to feel more love and understanding and direct me in Your paths.

Since We Have a Burn Ban in Arkansas

And Fireworks Will Likely Be Ruled Out,

I Thought I Would Hunt Up

Some Additional Ideas For Fun

Above All Else

Be Safe and

Enjoy Time With

Family & Friends

God Bless America,

Land that I love.

Stand beside her, and guide her

Through the night with a light from above.

From the mountains, to the prairies,

To the oceans, white with foam

God bless America, My home sweet home

God bless America, My home sweet home.

Do You Want to Get Into the

Fourth of July Spirit?  

Check Out These Ideas

Patriotic Strawberries

1.  Take a bundle of fresh strawberries; wash and completely dry them.

2. Deep them 2/3rds the way in white, melted chocolate

3.  Dip the tips only is blue sugar, which can be found at most craft stores.

Here is another sweet idea to try.....

A plain, white T-shirt

Some red rick-rack, glued on with fabric glue

A pinned on..navy blue polka dot bow

And there you go!  A sweet patriotic shirt to wear!

How About a Patriotic Wreath?

Cut out SEVERAL red stars out of felt. 

Have handy some craft stick pins and a white styrofoam ring.

Continue to pin the red felt stars onto the wreath until you get the fullness you want.  Then take a wide navy blue ribbon and cut out three white felt stars to add to the navy blue ribbon.

Happy Fourth of July!!!

Dear Blog Readers,

I wanted to let you know that I have decided for my blog to become a private journal, so when you go to my site anymore, you'll understand why you can't view it any longer.  I have appreciated your interest, comments, love and support; more than you could ever know, and I will never forget how much you did for me and my family. Thank  you from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,
Beverly McSheehy-Ballard

America the Beautiful!

The Lights of Las Vegas