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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

5.28.2009

Update: Thursday night/Friday Morning- Mike is running a temperature again. It's around 100 degrees. He is on the antibiotic Levaquin, so I'm hoping we're okay.

Mike has returned back to his "new normal," of falling asleep once he takes his oral chemotherapy. It's likely because he takes Phenagren before the Xeloda, to prevent him from getting sick to his stomach. The Phenagren knocks him out. I suggested he try a half dose of the Phenagren, but Mike is afraid if he happened to get sick even once, he'd have a difficult time taking the Xeloda from there on out.

He went to the lab today and had blood work drawn, but we don't have any results on that yet. When we were at MD Anderson last fall, we learned of a side effect some cancer patients experience, called Chemo-Brain. The last couple of days, Mike has lost his memory of what he had been doing during the day, which is really concerning me, especially since I'm not around to keep a close eye on him. He, Amber and Ethan went to IHOP for pancakes this morning and when I came home from work, he was wondering why he hadn't eaten any breakfast all day. So, not only had he forgotten that he ate breakfast with Amber; he didn't even remember driving himself to IHOP and back home. I'm sure this is probably because of all the drugs he's taking right now, but I pray that's all that's going on. Please pray he doesn't accidentally overdose himself on his medications, or do anything that would cause himself any physical harm.

Mike had an old friend from Goody's, stop by and visit him this afternoon. Mike was so excited to see Rob. Rob had taken a position out of town after Goody's closed, but things didn't work out there, and now he is back in town hoping to find something here. He hung out with Mike for a couple of hours. Mike had such a huge smile on his face when I came home. I am so grateful God is helping Mike pass time while I'm away.

Thank you for thinking about Mike today and for keeping us in your prayers.

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." --Arabian Proverb
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