Pages

In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.

I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.

At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett

"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)

12.03.2009

Today has been one of those days!  It was hard facing the day from the start because I went to bed last night, and woke up again this morning missing Mike.  Then I discovered my two cocker spaniels were experiencing problems and needed to go to the vet.  I still don't know if they are sick or if they are just grieving for Mike. But it is just another situation I'm dealing with.  I hope to learn if everything is okay with them by tomorrow.

So later in the morning, I was working on what I needed to do to attend to the legal side of things.  After getting some answers the lawyer was looking for, he requested to see me again today, if possible.  Amber was able to work it out for Zac to meet me there.  He took some detailed notes and we have a course of action for the moment.  I have just been so confused lately, I'm hardly thinking straight.  Fear keeps cropping up trying to consume me.  I know this isn't from God.  I'm grateful my children are close enough to help me and that I have an army of prayer partners.  I'm so grateful for all of you.

Short, and to the point, my name is listed on some important paperwork, but not on others.  It's bizarre how this has happen but it seems to have taken place when the mortgage companies have been sold off to other companies over the years.  Mike and I thought we had everything taken care of in this department, but there have been surprises, and they are pretty substanial, and hold some risks for me.  I need prayer for protection, as we try to proceed forward, settling all of this.  For a few days I've been pretty confused on whether it is safe or not to inform these groups of Mike's passing.  I have been getting different viewpoints and have just not wanted to make any mistakes.  Tomorrow I will be proceeding forward making phone calls, so I'm praying God will cover my conversations with His protection and that things will work out.

(I will be waiting an additional day before notifying the necessary people of Mike's passing, to give my sister's attorney in TX, and opportunity to read my lawyers recommendations.  It doesn't hurt to have a second opinion.  But the maddness of all of this is weighing on me.  I was at Walmart this morning at 2 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. I can't afford to make any mistakes. BTW...Walmart isn't too crowded at this hour. ;)

I would especially appreciate your prayers.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
Posted by