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In 2007, I began my original website, Sonshine's Haven. In 2007, it was turned into a blog and used to keep family updated on my first husband's fight with liver cancer. He passed away November of 2009. We were married for 34+ wonderful years and this journals some of that grief process I've gone through.
I have since remarried another widower, but Mike is missed dearly, and will always be a big part of my life.
At times, all of us will be called to act as witnesses to the suffering of another. We will be unable to affect the outcome physically. Words will fail us. Prayer will seem futile. And yet, the act of bearing witness to someone else's trials is a sacred sorrow that offers and astounding glimpse of eternal joy." by Ginger Garrett
"Being willing to stay with a loved one throughout their travail, can be difficult....YES! But offering yourselves as faithful companions on a dark and dreadful journey can be an unmeasured blessing." (paraphrased by me)
6.30.2008
A Praise!!
You can check out their newsletter, (of special note page 6) at http://www.transcolines.com/may08news.pdf
Also, we learned Mike's treatment day is being changed to Wednesday, and his doctor appointment and Neulasta injection will be done on Thursday, due to the Fourth of July holiday.
Thank you again for praying for us so faithfully.
"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:21-23
6.29.2008
Mike's job may be coming to an end more quickly than first thought. Because of this, Mike has become increasingly anxious about what he's going to do next. He realizes, even if the scan returns in July with the tumor being smaller, or gone; he still has a long road of recovery ahead of him. He would only be able to work part-time for now, until his energy level improved and his pain level decreased.
A part-time position would not only be helpful in paying COBRA health payments, but it would also give Mike someplace to go, to help keep his mind positive. There is a wonderful possibility, of a part-time position, that was presented to Mike last Friday. The company is here in town, and the owners are very understanding about our situation. It couldn't be a better suit for him. We would appreciate your prayers for God's will. We hope to hear something Monday or Tuesday.
Matt (our son) is set up for two job interviews a day apart. For the Northwest Arkansas position, he will be heading to Nashville July 8th, to meet with upper management, more or less as a formality. But this job, would require Matt and his family to move, and they had already begun work on building their "dream" home here in town before Matt was laid off. The ANO interview is July 9th, and this is the job Matt feels would be the better fit for him and his family. We are SO grateful for all of your prayers for Matt passing his test. Please pray for peace for Matt and Jill as they continue to wait on God's will for them. It has been a LONG 9 months...living in a small addition, on our property, with their 22 month old little boy.
Thank you so much for caring for our family and faithfully keeping us in your prayers. Please know every email we receive from you; every hug, kind words, or card of encouragement, has been profound in getting us through all of this. Our hearts are deeply touched and you have been such a blessing to us.
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." Psalm 71:20
(Please enjoy some of the songs below that have brought comfort to us.)
6.27.2008
Mike's next treatment will be Thursday, July 3rd.
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." Psalm 71:20
(Please enjoy some of the songs below that have brought comfort to us.)
6.25.2008
Yet there are moments, when the energy it requires to deal with everything, just completely drains us, and makes it hard to lift our chins. The pathway can get blurred, and our hearts can get weighted down with discouragement and fear. All we know to do, is to continue laying everything at God’s feet, and pray God will supply everything we need to keep going, and we will find rest in His arms.
Yesterday was one of those days described above, but thankfully, today was a new day, and God continues to show His mercy on us, by blessing us, and answering prayer.
#1 Matt (our son) passed his employment test! Thank you so much for lifting him up! Now we need to wait and see if he’ll be offered a position at ANO.
#2 Matt’s interview with the other position in Northwest Arkansas, went well and looks promising, although it would bring about some other hurdles Matt and his family would need to cross. Please continue to pray for God’s will.
#3 Settling my father's estate in Florida is finally coming to a close. I'm praying I can move beyond all of the complications with that soon.
#4 The job possibility Mike had for part-time work, didn't work out, so that door has been closed. We will continue to trust God to supply for our needs, beyond Goody's, and we pray He will calm our hearts while we wait.
Thank you for your faithful intercession. Your concern and support has meant everything to us. We will continue to update you. In the meantime, Mike’s next treatment will be Thursday, July 3rd, with a CT probably being scheduled the end of July.
"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." Isaiah 35:3-4
6.22.2008
We continue to ask for your prayers with this tumor being reduced completely, for Mike to find some kind of part time employment to replace his job that closes down by August 9th, and for our son, Matt, to find a job soon. Thank you for standing in the gap for us on these requests. We will update you with any "new" news.
"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11
6.21.2008
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Mike had another good day today. His stomach gave him a little bit of trouble at the beginning of the day for some reason but it was over almost as quickly as it started. Mike describes it as a kind of weak feeling in his stomach, and it usually is enough to make him take the Phenagren (anti-nausea medication), which immediately helps.
At one point Mike tried to wander around our yard clipping a couple of branches off some lower limbs of trees, but it tired him out enough that he had to stop. He went upstairs and laid down for awhile. He gets a little frustrated when something so simple seems to beat him. I find myself reminding him that the chemotherapy alone, can zap his energy easily, not even counting the physical symptoms he has from his cancer.
We received a little positive news last evening about a job possibility that could be promising; work Mike could do from home, in his line of work. Mike still doesn't have all of the ends and outs about the position yet, but is expected to find out more this coming week. I can't begin to say how encouraging this news was for Mike, just to be able to possibly have something to do at least part-time, and something that may grow into being more down the road. Mike was beginning to grow very concerned about not having something to do to take his mind off his physical state after his job with Goody's finished out.
Please be praying with us that this venture may be from God's hands and that we'll have wisdom to make wise decisions. Because Mike is on disability we need to be very careful to abide by certain guidelines and conditions and there isn't a lot of room for error. Never being in this position before, we're learning a lot on the fly.
It's HUGE what a little hope can bring to our heart! Mike and I are so grateful for God's goodness towards us, and for blessing us with such dear friends, that care just as much about our happiness and well being, as their own. I know I sound redundant, but your prayers carry us daily. God bless you as you are blessing us.
"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11
6.20.2008
We are so grateful for even the slightest improvement Mike makes. Thank you for your faithful prayers and concern.
"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11
6.19.2008
He saw his dermatologist this morning to doublecheck a couple of spots on his head. We were told these spots weren't anything to be concerned about, a couple of months ago, but they wanted to recheck them anyway. With his hair being completely gone now, I figured the doctor could have a better look at them. They checked out fine. The doctor did remove two precancerous areas on the side of Mike's face. Mike's had this done before and it was no big deal.
Work at Goody's is slowing to a halt at times, and that is bothering Mike quite a bit, not having something to do to take his mind off of what he's feeling physically. The distribution center wasn't working today, but will be tomorrow, and will be Monday. We're praying Mike will be able to find something part time to do until his health gets back to normal. We've heard about a couple of possibilities that could be promising.
We would continue to appreciate your prayers for Mike's health, Mike's employment situation, our son's employment situation, and the stress we've been under with other things going on in our life (death's in the family). We're so grateful for having such wonderful friends and family interceeding for us. The stress has been a little overwhelming lately and has completely worn us out. I don't know where we would be with out God's presence in our life, and your faithfulness. Thank you!
"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
6.18.2008
Home Safely!
Our flight out Sunday evening ended up being a wild ride! We were suppose to connect to another plane in St. Louis, to take us on in to Orlando that evening, but for some reason, things got messed up from the start. Our plane was delayed in Little Rock, and from there the fun began!
We were first told we would have to miss our flight in St. Louis, and would be put up in a hotel there, but after a bumpy ride, when we got to St. Louis, they wouldn’t let us leave the plane, and told us we were heading on to Chicago to catch another plane there, that would take us on in to Orlando. Well, when we got to Chicago, all the planes had left, and we were stranded.
The airline put us up in a hotel late that night (around midnight). It wasn’t the best, and not really a great situation for two women traveling alone, but we were able to get about 3 hours sleep, before needing to head back to the airport by 4:45 a.m., to catch the earliest flight into Orlando Monday morning.
It was a small inconvenience, but Gods hand, and your prayers protected us, and kept us safe. Those of you who know my health history, understand how much of a blessing it was for me to have Jill with me throughout all of this, and what a blessing it was that Mike hadn’t gone with me. God stayed at our side and Jill was an angel, handling all of the confusion at the terminals.
Jill and I were exhausted once we got to Orlando, but the memorial service was a tender time, celebrating the life of a sweet, gentle man, and we were able to comfort and support my sister. The other family situations at the funeral were mostly peaceful, and I’m confident prayer was the reason for that outcome.
Back on this side of town, Mike has felt pretty lousy all the way through today. We’re hoping tomorrow will be a better day for him. His stomach has been a little more upset after this treatment, and he has been very weak and winded. The kids kept Mike fed and cared for while I was away, and that was a great comfort to me.
Matt, our son, took his test Monday morning and is concerned he didn’t do as well as he had hoped he would. Of course, we hate seeing him discouraged, and know that this past week was a set of unusual circumstances, that might have rattled him, but we’re praying it all may have a positive outcome. We should know more in a couple of weeks.
Matt does have another job opportunity next week, but it would take him to NW Arkansas. That isn’t far, but since they had already begun work on building a home here locally, that would be another hurdle they would have to contend with. We’re just praying for God’s wisdom for them, and that they will be in the center of His will.
I could never thank you enough for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers.
Blessed is he who has regard for the weak, for You, Lord, deliver him in times of trouble. You, Lord, will protect him and preserve his life; You will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. (Psalm 41:1-3)
6.14.2008
A Tough Week
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6.12.2008
11th Treatment and Doctor Visit
Mike asked about how many treatments would he probably have if the CT showed the tumor was gone. The oncologist mentioned, if the tumor was gone from the CT, then the doctor would probably order another PET scan done, to be certain it didn't show anything either. He also mentioned spreading out Mike's treatments to possibly every 4 weeks, instead of doing them every 3 weeks, if we had to continue with treatments. We really didn't get a firm answer on exactly how many that would be.
The oncologist also offered Mike medication, in addition to the pain medication he's already on, for his Neuropathy...suggesting Lyrica, as possibly one to use, but Mike turned down the offer, saying he felt his pain wasn't bad enough to do that. Of course, I'm always worried Mike is staying quiet with a lot of the pain he feels. I'm just trusting no permanent damage will be done.
I have so many things to ask you to lift up in prayer. So much is coming at our family at one time, it's almost unbelievable. The next few days are going to be even more difficult as out of town family gathers in Florida for a funeral. Please pray God's peace will go with me, and that I can be a blessing to Jaime (my sister).
While we're gone, our son, Matt, will be taking a test for a job position here in town on Monday. The test can be difficult, so I pray he won't be so distracted with everything else going on in the family, that he can't focus his attention fully on that. As you already know, he was laid off in January, got a new job in April, and then learned that company was shutting their doors just a few weeks later. It has been an incredibly stressful time for him and his family, and we're praying Matt can find a job here locally, so that he and his family can remain living here, especially given Mike's health situation.
I am deeply grateful for all of your prayers.
"For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever," Psalm 37:28
6.11.2008
In Memory of Jim Johnson
6.09.2008
Mike and I wanted all of you to know we are doing okay. Many of you have been so concerned for us. We want you to know we feel your prayers and comfort.
We also wanted to set some of your concerns at ease. Mike's health is priority number one, and we will continue to have health insurance (Cobra). Mike also had long term disability insurance and will continue receiving that.
Since Mike became ill last summer, he has only been able to work part time. Mike still has a long way to go healthwise, before he is able to find full time employment. But Mike is also the kind of person who won't do well sitting at home, so we're praying God will open the right doors for him to work part time, once his commitment with Goody's is over. He feels he needs that kind of motivation every day to get through his fight with cancer, but it is going to take a company sensitive to our situation, and one that is flexible.
It has been a long, tough year, and there have been a lot of things to deal with. Yes, we're "weary-tired-and worn". But God has never left our side. He has been faithful. One of the hardest things, when going through a crisis, is feeling alone in it. But we have been blessed because God has surrounded us with loving family and friends, who pray and hold us up. We know He will provide for our needs in the future, and we will continue to place all of our trust in Him. We are truly blessed and are extremely grateful!
Thank you for your continued prayers.
Love,
Mike and Beverly
P.S. Next chemotherapy treatment will be this Thursday, June 12th.
Mike Has Lost His Job
Of course, I know I don't need to explain how this will impact Mike and I, but we have faith God is in control, and we are trusting Him for our future. We would appreciate all of your prayers as we try and navigate through, not only Mike's health situation, but now this.
"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:21-23
6.08.2008
Tomorrow Morning
6.07.2008
Still
Mike is continuing to feel well and seems to be regaining some strength he hasn't had in almost a year. We're so grateful for these improvements, especially at a time when things seem to be coming at us at once. Waiting for answers to these new concerns, hasn't been a lot of fun. In fact, fear has tried to overtake us a couple of times. But our trust is in God for every situation in our life, and that is leaving us with a peace that could only come from our Heavenly Father, and from the prayers from so many of you. Thank you for lifting us up.
(please click on the arrow below)
6.05.2008
No News this Week
"Teach us to wait patiently in silence...
To trust Your guiding hand,
Your perfect will, Your steadfast love
Even when we're feeling most alone.
Teach us to ask, not why, but what...
What do You want us to learn from this, Lord...
What does it mean to our walk with You,
In our relationship with You and others?
Let us seek, more than reasons, Your wisdom,
More than answers, Your approval,
More than Your peace,
Your blessed presence in our life."
bj hoff
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help,
Isaiah 58:9
6.04.2008
6.03.2008
God Is In Complete Control
6.02.2008
Unspoken Prayer Request
Thank you for continuing to support us. Mike has been feeling his best the last couple of days.
"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamenatations 3:21-23
6.01.2008
New Every Morning
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Mike had a wonderful, restful day, with his pain under control. He even asked to take a walk later this evening for some exercise. Thank you for faithfully praying for Mike and our family.