I want to thank all of you who have called with your love and concern. As expected, things have been fairly difficult the past couple of days. Out of town family have all left now, and the distractions are gone. I'm missing Mike tremendously, and the reality of the situation is setting in. The pain is intense at times.
I'm overwhelmed with everything needing to be done after losing a loved one. In my situation, there are a lot of other problems, in addition to losing my best friend. I will need to be speaking to a lawyer and trying to get some counsel. I would really appreciate your prayers concerning this, that it would be sound guidance, and God will clearly show me what I need to do. I'm so out of my element, the stress I'm feeling is heavy. I'm trying to take deep breaths, and things one day at a time. Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement.
11.26.2009
11.25.2009
A Love of a Lifetime --The Legacy of a Warrior with Unconditional Love--
Dear Family and Friends,
As I try to process all of the events and activity this past week, I realize I have so much to be grateful for, in the midst of my heart aching. I'm grateful for the promise of eternal life. For it brings me the promise I will be with Mike again one day. I'm grateful for the strength He gives to His children to bear up under difficult circumstances. I could never do any of this under my own strength. He is my sustainer and will be my provider and comforter over this time of mourning.
I'm so thankful for the comfort and love of my children, grandchildren, family and friends. The temporary absence of my best friend and companion will be difficult, this side of heaven, but God will continue to wipe my tears and carry me when my legs are too shaky to stand alone. I know God has a purpose for my life and for this suffering. My heart is eager to learn what His purpose is.
I would like to ask you to pray for my children and grandchildren. Their hearts are broken and confused. Please pray their grieving will be brief and that God will multiply the love, compassion, sense of humor in life their father passed on to them... with the acceptance of God's sovereignity in their loss. May this experience draw them closer to His side, that they would cherish each precious moment God gives them as husband and wives, mommy's and daddy's and witnesses for Him. May the hole they are experiencing right now, be filled with their father's example of living life to its fullest, and under his legacy of unconditional love. May they be the warrior he was in so many aspects of his life.
I can not thank all of you enough for being more than a friend to me. You have been loving friends, faithful advisor's, encouragers,... all wrapped up under the name of brothers and sister's in Christ. You have given me your hearts and your resources to survive. Your prayers have been such a source of encouragement and peace to me. The tight hugs have steadied the trembling inside. You have never left me to bear any of this alone.
I am so grateful to have lived a lifetime of love in 34 years, with a man who absolutely adored and cherished me. Those memories will carry me forward until he and I meet again in heaven.
As I try to process all of the events and activity this past week, I realize I have so much to be grateful for, in the midst of my heart aching. I'm grateful for the promise of eternal life. For it brings me the promise I will be with Mike again one day. I'm grateful for the strength He gives to His children to bear up under difficult circumstances. I could never do any of this under my own strength. He is my sustainer and will be my provider and comforter over this time of mourning.
I'm so thankful for the comfort and love of my children, grandchildren, family and friends. The temporary absence of my best friend and companion will be difficult, this side of heaven, but God will continue to wipe my tears and carry me when my legs are too shaky to stand alone. I know God has a purpose for my life and for this suffering. My heart is eager to learn what His purpose is.
I would like to ask you to pray for my children and grandchildren. Their hearts are broken and confused. Please pray their grieving will be brief and that God will multiply the love, compassion, sense of humor in life their father passed on to them... with the acceptance of God's sovereignity in their loss. May this experience draw them closer to His side, that they would cherish each precious moment God gives them as husband and wives, mommy's and daddy's and witnesses for Him. May the hole they are experiencing right now, be filled with their father's example of living life to its fullest, and under his legacy of unconditional love. May they be the warrior he was in so many aspects of his life.
I can not thank all of you enough for being more than a friend to me. You have been loving friends, faithful advisor's, encouragers,... all wrapped up under the name of brothers and sister's in Christ. You have given me your hearts and your resources to survive. Your prayers have been such a source of encouragement and peace to me. The tight hugs have steadied the trembling inside. You have never left me to bear any of this alone.
I am so grateful to have lived a lifetime of love in 34 years, with a man who absolutely adored and cherished me. Those memories will carry me forward until he and I meet again in heaven.
11.21.2009
Services
Visitation:
Monday, November 23rd
5 p.m. to 7 p.m.
Shinn Funeral Service
800 West Main Street, Russellville
Service:
Tuesday, November 24th
10 a.m.
First Baptist Church, Russellville
300 South Denver, Russellville
Officated by: Rev. Greg Sykes, Pastor Bob Manry and Pastor Amos Anderson
Honorary Pallbearers: Dr. Mike Hendren, Kent Wynes, Jeff Zimmerman, Russ Lacy, Jim Gray, Roger Alexander, Jerry Smith, the staff of Coulter Physical Therapy, the physicians and staff of Arkansas Oncology Associates, fellow employees of Goody’s Distribution Center and members of Hank Jacob’s Sunday School Class at First Baptist Church.
In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Arkansas Oncology Associates in Mike’s name.
Thank all of you again for your continued support and prayers.
11.20.2009
The Ultimate Healing
"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints." Psalm 116:15
Dear Friends,
My father-in-law Mike went to be with his Lord today. After complications arising from this latest procedure, his body wasn't able to recover. Our whole family was by his side. He fought valiantly and didn't want to leave his loving family behind, but we all are comforted in the fact that he is with Jesus now, and we will see him again.
""Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin...But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:55-57)
Our whole family cannot thank all of you enough for your continued love, prayers, and support. We appreciate you more than we can express. Please continue to pray for Beverly. She and Mike had a special relationship, and as you know she poured her whole life into his care these last years. She will dearly miss her best friend. Please pray for Matt and Amber as they cope with the loss of their dad, especially heading into Thanksgiving and Christmas. Pray that Zac and I will be able to comfort and minister to them as best as we can, while we grieve as well. Please keep the rest of our family in your prayers as well.
We will update you when arrangements are made for the memorial service, or as Beverly wants it to be, a celebration service of Mike's life and of Mike's faith. Thank you again.
In Christ,
Jill McSheehy
Dear Friends,
My father-in-law Mike went to be with his Lord today. After complications arising from this latest procedure, his body wasn't able to recover. Our whole family was by his side. He fought valiantly and didn't want to leave his loving family behind, but we all are comforted in the fact that he is with Jesus now, and we will see him again.
""Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin...But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:55-57)
Our whole family cannot thank all of you enough for your continued love, prayers, and support. We appreciate you more than we can express. Please continue to pray for Beverly. She and Mike had a special relationship, and as you know she poured her whole life into his care these last years. She will dearly miss her best friend. Please pray for Matt and Amber as they cope with the loss of their dad, especially heading into Thanksgiving and Christmas. Pray that Zac and I will be able to comfort and minister to them as best as we can, while we grieve as well. Please keep the rest of our family in your prayers as well.
We will update you when arrangements are made for the memorial service, or as Beverly wants it to be, a celebration service of Mike's life and of Mike's faith. Thank you again.
In Christ,
Jill McSheehy
11.19.2009
More procedures...
Update: The tube could not be inserted. They tried, but he gagged and vomited again. His oncologist is supposed to be by this evening to decide what to do. Please remember them both in your prayers. It has been a very long and challenging day.
Everything seemed to be going so well, but mom called and told me that they're going to put a tube down dad's nose into his stomach this evening to drain it. As far as I can tell he's been vomiting which is a concern with his stitches and also because he has supposedly displaced the abdominal tube, so that's not draining properly. He's had this problem before with his abdominal tube and it led to considerable swelling. I'm praying this isn't too much of a setback.
Earlier today things seemed to be going well. Mom got to speak with the surgeon earlier this afternoon and he was going to increase dad's feedings to get him on track. So my assumption is that dad will have this procedure done tonight and will most likely be in LR for the weekend. That's just my thoughts, since it seems getting discharged takes a while, and I don't see them allowing him to go home like this.
I'm a little unsettled with this new news. Please pray that everything will go smoothly with this procedure and that they will be able to get his abdominal drain back in place. Also pray that we can get all of his vitals stabilized. At this point, I'm simply praying he can come home for Thanksgiving.
Everything seemed to be going so well, but mom called and told me that they're going to put a tube down dad's nose into his stomach this evening to drain it. As far as I can tell he's been vomiting which is a concern with his stitches and also because he has supposedly displaced the abdominal tube, so that's not draining properly. He's had this problem before with his abdominal tube and it led to considerable swelling. I'm praying this isn't too much of a setback.
Earlier today things seemed to be going well. Mom got to speak with the surgeon earlier this afternoon and he was going to increase dad's feedings to get him on track. So my assumption is that dad will have this procedure done tonight and will most likely be in LR for the weekend. That's just my thoughts, since it seems getting discharged takes a while, and I don't see them allowing him to go home like this.
I'm a little unsettled with this new news. Please pray that everything will go smoothly with this procedure and that they will be able to get his abdominal drain back in place. Also pray that we can get all of his vitals stabilized. At this point, I'm simply praying he can come home for Thanksgiving.
11.18.2009
Wednesday Update
UPDATE: Dad has been taken off a clear liquid diet again. I guess he wasn't able to hold it down last night and they don't want him to strain the incision by vomiting. So for now, we are waiting for his food intake to increase which takes a while. I figure he'll be in the hospital a few more days. They also put him back on the medicine he takes to keep his ammonia level down (they didn't know he needed it) because mom said he was out of it this morning telling odd stories again.
My mom went back up to the hospital this morning to check on dad and try to get some information about what the next few days hold. She had a frustrating morning trying to get details about his care and condition. Overall he seems to be doing well. He began tube feeding today and this evening they're already beginning to increase that amount. From what I hear this has to be done slowly since it's not going to his stomach but to his intestines. Hopefully tomorrow we can learn more about when they might consider discharging him.
He has finally been cleared to start a clear fluid diet. Earlier today we were concerned that he wasn't allowed to ever eat or drink by mouth due to information one nurse gave us, but it just appears that it will be a slow process. Dad's been unhappy last night and most of today because they weren't allowing him hardly anything to drink. Thankfully, the nurse called my mom on her way home to let her know that dad is allowed to have clear fluids. That's a big relief to both of them. Hopefully he'll be cleared later on to eat more solids and regular food. Our family is centered around food, if that makes any sense at all, and knowing we can all still gather and gorge makes us happy. :)
Thank you for remembering my family in your prayers. We're hoping the next few days go smoothly and that dad will recover and be discharged without any problems or delays. Please pray for my mom as she continues to travel back and forth between the hospital. She plans to return early tomorrow morning in hopes of catching the surgeon on his rounds. She hasn't been able to talk with him today.
My mom went back up to the hospital this morning to check on dad and try to get some information about what the next few days hold. She had a frustrating morning trying to get details about his care and condition. Overall he seems to be doing well. He began tube feeding today and this evening they're already beginning to increase that amount. From what I hear this has to be done slowly since it's not going to his stomach but to his intestines. Hopefully tomorrow we can learn more about when they might consider discharging him.
He has finally been cleared to start a clear fluid diet. Earlier today we were concerned that he wasn't allowed to ever eat or drink by mouth due to information one nurse gave us, but it just appears that it will be a slow process. Dad's been unhappy last night and most of today because they weren't allowing him hardly anything to drink. Thankfully, the nurse called my mom on her way home to let her know that dad is allowed to have clear fluids. That's a big relief to both of them. Hopefully he'll be cleared later on to eat more solids and regular food. Our family is centered around food, if that makes any sense at all, and knowing we can all still gather and gorge makes us happy. :)
Thank you for remembering my family in your prayers. We're hoping the next few days go smoothly and that dad will recover and be discharged without any problems or delays. Please pray for my mom as she continues to travel back and forth between the hospital. She plans to return early tomorrow morning in hopes of catching the surgeon on his rounds. She hasn't been able to talk with him today.
11.17.2009
(The above photo was taken of my dad this morning before he and mom headed to the hospital.)
I apologize for the late update. Dad's procedure was a success!!! He is at Baptist Medical Center for the next few days for monitoring since the procedure was a bit more invasive than usual (going into the small intestine rather than the stomach), but overall he appears to be doing well. We left my dad at around 6:30pm to allow him to rest and sleep since he's on a pain pump this evening to help with any incision pain. They also re-stitched around his billiary drains and will help fix his abdominal drain as well. He had 2.5 liters of fluid drained from his abdomen in order to help the incision site stay dry and heal faster. He will also need his abdominal drain to stay on a bag to help aid in keeping the area inside his stomach dry so it will heal. They hope to begin using the feeding tube tomorrow.
Please continue to pray for my dad as he begins this healing process and begins to get the nutrition he needs. Please pray for a good night's sleep for my dad at the hospital and my mom at home. They weren't planning on staying overnight, so she came home and will return in the morning. Thank you for all who are praying for my dad and family.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea...The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46
I apologize for the late update. Dad's procedure was a success!!! He is at Baptist Medical Center for the next few days for monitoring since the procedure was a bit more invasive than usual (going into the small intestine rather than the stomach), but overall he appears to be doing well. We left my dad at around 6:30pm to allow him to rest and sleep since he's on a pain pump this evening to help with any incision pain. They also re-stitched around his billiary drains and will help fix his abdominal drain as well. He had 2.5 liters of fluid drained from his abdomen in order to help the incision site stay dry and heal faster. He will also need his abdominal drain to stay on a bag to help aid in keeping the area inside his stomach dry so it will heal. They hope to begin using the feeding tube tomorrow.
Please continue to pray for my dad as he begins this healing process and begins to get the nutrition he needs. Please pray for a good night's sleep for my dad at the hospital and my mom at home. They weren't planning on staying overnight, so she came home and will return in the morning. Thank you for all who are praying for my dad and family.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea...The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46
11.16.2009
Tomorrow is the Big Day
As I write, my dad is up at St. Mary's getting 2 bags of IV fluids. We could all tell he was dehydrated and he finally made the decision on his own to ask for fluids. Usually this makes him feel better almost immediately. It's also a good thing for him not to be dehydrated before a procedure since that can affect his blood pressure as well.
Dad's down to 105 lbs. He needs this feeding tube desperately. Today he also started speech therapy to help strenghten his swallowing muscles. So with these two steps forward, we're hoping to see a huge improvement for dad in the next few weeks. Once we can get his weight loss stabilized, then we hope to see improvements in other areas as well.
Please pray for my dad tomorrow during this procedure. Please pray that it will go smoothly, that they will be able to get in and out as fast as possible so dad's blood pressure will not dip down too low, and that recovery will go well. Please pray for his protection and that he'll gain some weight soon!!! Also keep my mom in your prayers and the rest of the family as we wait. Please pray for peace. Please pray that God will use this situation to bring glory to Himself.
Below are the lyrics to a song by Kutless called "What Faith Can Do". I can't figure out how to post the Youtube link, but my mom might do so later. For now, simply let these words speak to your heart as they did to mine.
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
Overcome the odds
You do have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise
Dad's down to 105 lbs. He needs this feeding tube desperately. Today he also started speech therapy to help strenghten his swallowing muscles. So with these two steps forward, we're hoping to see a huge improvement for dad in the next few weeks. Once we can get his weight loss stabilized, then we hope to see improvements in other areas as well.
Please pray for my dad tomorrow during this procedure. Please pray that it will go smoothly, that they will be able to get in and out as fast as possible so dad's blood pressure will not dip down too low, and that recovery will go well. Please pray for his protection and that he'll gain some weight soon!!! Also keep my mom in your prayers and the rest of the family as we wait. Please pray for peace. Please pray that God will use this situation to bring glory to Himself.
Below are the lyrics to a song by Kutless called "What Faith Can Do". I can't figure out how to post the Youtube link, but my mom might do so later. For now, simply let these words speak to your heart as they did to mine.
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
Overcome the odds
You do have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise
11.14.2009
I got to visit with my dad tonight for the first time in weeks. Boy, he's lost some weight! That was the first thing I thought when I saw him come down the stairs. But, like a good child, I invited myself to dinner :) and we all enjoyed some chinese food....ok, most of us did, just not my mom, even though I tried my hardest to convert her. So, he did make an effort to eat. My greatest concern right now and what I'd like to ask everyone to pray about is his attitude. His "fight" just isn't there like it used to be. It frustrates me because we all see his condition and set out to do everything we can to help him heal in any way possible. He says he sees his condition but to me, he just doesn't seem very concerned about it.
So I ask that you'll pray along with me that my dad will get his "fight" back...his determination to get better. I ask that you pray he will continue to eat even after he gets the feeding tube. I ask that you pray for strength for him and my mom for this coming week as it will be another difficult week with medical procedures, fasting, travel and concern for his health. I ask that you pray with me for complete healing for my dad. Please pray for a joyful Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday for our entire family. We have so much to be thankful for and I'd love for us to be able to truly celebrate what each of these holidays is all about and to give thanks to God for all He has done for my family.
Thanks to each friend and family member who prays for us and goes out of their way to help us in their own way. You are very much appreciated and loved!
So I ask that you'll pray along with me that my dad will get his "fight" back...his determination to get better. I ask that you pray he will continue to eat even after he gets the feeding tube. I ask that you pray for strength for him and my mom for this coming week as it will be another difficult week with medical procedures, fasting, travel and concern for his health. I ask that you pray with me for complete healing for my dad. Please pray for a joyful Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday for our entire family. We have so much to be thankful for and I'd love for us to be able to truly celebrate what each of these holidays is all about and to give thanks to God for all He has done for my family.
Thanks to each friend and family member who prays for us and goes out of their way to help us in their own way. You are very much appreciated and loved!
11.13.2009
PRAISE!!!
Dad's case worker for his insurance has gained approval for speech therapy!!! She's getting it all set up for him. This couldn't come at a better time. He'll get his feeding tube on Tuesday to aid in getting him enough calories and then on top of that he'll get the speech therapy he needs in order to strengthen his swallowing muscles. Praise the Lord! Please continue to pray for my dad. He's having a rough week and we need him strong for the procedure this coming Tuesday. We're not sure what exactly is wrong, but he's not acting like himself, so please pray for the Lord to heal him and protect him from any viruses and other illnesses this weekend and coming week.
11.12.2009
My daughter-in-law sent me the beautiful song below.
It blessed me. I pray it blesses you too.
"YOUR HANDS"
Lyrics:
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
For more JJ Heller: www.jjheller.com
11.11.2009
Mike has become weak and shakey when walking the last few days. He is also needing the oxygen again, having shortness of breath. I would say he is eating fairly well, despite his swallowing issues. He just has to eat slowly and it is mostly food with gravy or that is soft. I'm trying to encourage Mike to eat every two hours...even setting the timer to go off to help remind him while I'm at work. He did well most of today, until we got to dinner. Then he didn't feel like any, but he did have a Boost shake.
I'm a little anxious about next weeks procedure with them putting Mike fully under. I just will need to trust God to keep his blood pressure up. Our son-in-law's father will be driving us, which will be a huge comfort to me. I know I will have a lot on my mind that day, and don't need to be worrying about traffic, parking, etc.
We got a phone call from our caseworker for our medical insurance coverage for Mike late this afternoon. She told Mike she almost has him approved to get the speech therapy, but needed to send it upstairs for one last approval. That will be a huge answer to prayer if that happens. I have also sent off a letter of reconsideration concerning some medical bills we received that we were told Mike wasn't fully covered for.
As far as life insurance goes, I have a couple of people looking over things to see if there is anything we can do, that we are entitled to, to continue coverage on Mike. I've been told that insurance companies try to play hardball sometimes, thinking customers will just not fight back. I'm not the "fighting" kind, but I have family and friends who are. ;)
Thank you for continuing to cover us in prayer. We would appreciate prayer for Mike's health, that he will avoid any viruses or infections. Please pray for Mike's weight to stablize and not drop any further. That when this procedure is done next Tuesday, that Mike will come through it smoothly and there will be no problems with the anesthesia. Also, because of Mike's ascites problem, we're going to have to take some extra measures to speed along the healing process with his new incision site. It may be a little awkward for a few days, but necessary. We pray that these medical and life insurance issues will be resolved in a timely and positive manner.
We are totally blessed to have so many of you caring and praying for us. Some days I'm just too tired to let you know personally, but every phone call, offer to help, or email to encourage us, has been such a blessing.
I'm a little anxious about next weeks procedure with them putting Mike fully under. I just will need to trust God to keep his blood pressure up. Our son-in-law's father will be driving us, which will be a huge comfort to me. I know I will have a lot on my mind that day, and don't need to be worrying about traffic, parking, etc.
We got a phone call from our caseworker for our medical insurance coverage for Mike late this afternoon. She told Mike she almost has him approved to get the speech therapy, but needed to send it upstairs for one last approval. That will be a huge answer to prayer if that happens. I have also sent off a letter of reconsideration concerning some medical bills we received that we were told Mike wasn't fully covered for.
As far as life insurance goes, I have a couple of people looking over things to see if there is anything we can do, that we are entitled to, to continue coverage on Mike. I've been told that insurance companies try to play hardball sometimes, thinking customers will just not fight back. I'm not the "fighting" kind, but I have family and friends who are. ;)
Thank you for continuing to cover us in prayer. We would appreciate prayer for Mike's health, that he will avoid any viruses or infections. Please pray for Mike's weight to stablize and not drop any further. That when this procedure is done next Tuesday, that Mike will come through it smoothly and there will be no problems with the anesthesia. Also, because of Mike's ascites problem, we're going to have to take some extra measures to speed along the healing process with his new incision site. It may be a little awkward for a few days, but necessary. We pray that these medical and life insurance issues will be resolved in a timely and positive manner.
We are totally blessed to have so many of you caring and praying for us. Some days I'm just too tired to let you know personally, but every phone call, offer to help, or email to encourage us, has been such a blessing.
11.10.2009
My mom called and told me that it was a very positive consultation with the surgeon. The surgeon had already made contact with the doctor that did dad's swallowing tests a few weeks ago, so he was aware that my dad's feeding tube would need to be put into his small intestine, rather than his stomach, since it's not working properly. So, the procedure is next Tuesday at 2pm. They will have to put him out for the procedure, but they don't feel it will be a problem with his blood pressure since it will be for such a brief time. It appears to have been a very good visit because the doctor was making comments about "bulking dad up". I'm relieved. I feel that dad will finally get the nutrition he needs and his body will be able to start functioning properly again...at least as much as it can. The holidays will hopefully go smoothly since we'll know he's getting the nutrition he needs and he can still eat whatever he wants to as well. YAY! Please continue to pray that my dad will avoid any illnesses and that this procedure will go smoothly next week and that he will begin to gain some weight and feel back to his normal self. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
11.09.2009
UPDATE: We have an appointment tomorrow morning with a surgeon in LR to discuss the procedure. Thank you for your continued prayers.
Mike's weight has dropped down to 111 pounds. We are going to see about getting a feeding tube today. We would appreciate your prayers that the doctors and insurance company will agree to do this and not give us any other answer.
Mike's weight has dropped down to 111 pounds. We are going to see about getting a feeding tube today. We would appreciate your prayers that the doctors and insurance company will agree to do this and not give us any other answer.
11.07.2009
Difficulties
(The above photo was taken last year at Christmas)
I wanted to step in this evening and give you my perspective on how things are going with my dad. Most of you know that the last doctor's appointment went very well and we all were pleased with the news that his levels, tubes, and tumor appear to be stable at this time. Though we are overjoyed with that report, my parents and my family are still struggling with the side effects of my dad's illness. His lack of strength, his loss of weight, the development of new bedsores, the difficulty he's had focusing mentally since this summer...all of these aspects of my dad's struggle are still weighing us down.
It's not simply the physical aspects of cancer that can weigh you down, it's the emotional toll it takes on you and your entire family. Missing the life you once had....missing the simple joys of being a family without dealing with such a serious illness....it can wear you down over time. And it's been over two years now. Plus on top of that getting the run around from insurance companies and being denied the coverage you were promised you'd have. It's a complicated situation. On one hand we are so encouraged by the report that all appears to be fairly stable and then on the other hand we see my dad day in and day out and know that he's not rebounding like we pray he will. It has been such a roller-coaster ride.
Thank you to the friends and family who continue to come to this website to support us and pray with us. Please pray for both my mother and my father as they deal with the daily battles of simply going about life. Please pray that my dad will regain strength and weight so that he can do the things he enjoys. Please pray that his mind will become more alert and that he will be able to interact with friends and family the way he desires to. Please pray that somehow, someway the insurance companies will uphold their committments to my parents and that he will be able to receive the treatments he desperately needs. Please pray for my father's complete healing and that the way our family goes through this trial will glorify our Father in heaven.
In Christ,
Amber
I wanted to step in this evening and give you my perspective on how things are going with my dad. Most of you know that the last doctor's appointment went very well and we all were pleased with the news that his levels, tubes, and tumor appear to be stable at this time. Though we are overjoyed with that report, my parents and my family are still struggling with the side effects of my dad's illness. His lack of strength, his loss of weight, the development of new bedsores, the difficulty he's had focusing mentally since this summer...all of these aspects of my dad's struggle are still weighing us down.
It's not simply the physical aspects of cancer that can weigh you down, it's the emotional toll it takes on you and your entire family. Missing the life you once had....missing the simple joys of being a family without dealing with such a serious illness....it can wear you down over time. And it's been over two years now. Plus on top of that getting the run around from insurance companies and being denied the coverage you were promised you'd have. It's a complicated situation. On one hand we are so encouraged by the report that all appears to be fairly stable and then on the other hand we see my dad day in and day out and know that he's not rebounding like we pray he will. It has been such a roller-coaster ride.
Thank you to the friends and family who continue to come to this website to support us and pray with us. Please pray for both my mother and my father as they deal with the daily battles of simply going about life. Please pray that my dad will regain strength and weight so that he can do the things he enjoys. Please pray that his mind will become more alert and that he will be able to interact with friends and family the way he desires to. Please pray that somehow, someway the insurance companies will uphold their committments to my parents and that he will be able to receive the treatments he desperately needs. Please pray for my father's complete healing and that the way our family goes through this trial will glorify our Father in heaven.
In Christ,
Amber
11.06.2009
Physically, Mike is doing okay. He went to physical therapy this morning. He hasn't had any vomiting episodes today. He has eaten well and kept everything down (cream of wheat, clam chowder, a few boiled shrimp, a tiny portion of pot roast and gravy, and a tad of apple pie)
But, Mike is having some difficulty otherwise. We both are.
For Mike, the quality of life he feels he's living right now is weighing on him heavily. Since July, he can do very little for himself anymore. His strength is used up just shifting his body to get more comfortable. Dressing, getting in and out of the car, even walking more than a few feet, takes the breath out of him. He's sad he doesn't have any energy to play with his grandsons. He hasn't been able to drum or work in his workshop. He's realizing the ammonia level in his blood is causing him to not remember blocks of time, conversations, etc., and it's frightening him. He's very down and some moments are incredibly difficult for both of us when he opens up and shares what he's feeling.
Thank you for coming to our Blog and being committed to pray for us. You are a blessing to Mike and I to interceed on our behalf.
But, Mike is having some difficulty otherwise. We both are.
For Mike, the quality of life he feels he's living right now is weighing on him heavily. Since July, he can do very little for himself anymore. His strength is used up just shifting his body to get more comfortable. Dressing, getting in and out of the car, even walking more than a few feet, takes the breath out of him. He's sad he doesn't have any energy to play with his grandsons. He hasn't been able to drum or work in his workshop. He's realizing the ammonia level in his blood is causing him to not remember blocks of time, conversations, etc., and it's frightening him. He's very down and some moments are incredibly difficult for both of us when he opens up and shares what he's feeling.
Thank you for coming to our Blog and being committed to pray for us. You are a blessing to Mike and I to interceed on our behalf.
11.04.2009
Mike was doing well today...until he got sick to his stomach around 8 p.m. We're not really sure what took place, because he was feeling well and had eaten a good dinner, but everything came up. Following that, he was fine. It wouldn't even be such a big deal if he wasn't so thin. He just can't afford to do that. I don't believe it is any virus since it came on suddenly, and left just as quickly. There are no other symptoms. So, I'm just going to trust he's fine and hope for even a better day tomorrow.
Thank you for checking in on Mike. Knowing you visit here and care enough to pray for us, brings deep comfort. We appreciate you so much!
Thank you for checking in on Mike. Knowing you visit here and care enough to pray for us, brings deep comfort. We appreciate you so much!
11.03.2009
Sonshines Blog..... Another Day!
Everything went smoothly today with Mike's minor procedure. The stitches are redone now, and hopefully we'll be able to go a long ways on them and not have any leakage.
In describing to the doctor the issue concerning Mike's eyes dripping continous tears in the evening, he told us if the antibiotic eye medication wasn't helping, we need to see an eye doctor to check things out further. Mike wants to wait it out, of course.
Mike only weighed 120.5 pounds on the clinics scale today. He is eating the best he can, especially when I'm home. I try to make sure he is eating at least three meals a day, but it's always something with gravy or lots of liquid, that's the easiest for him to swallow. I'm just going to need to be creative in getting him up and moving on days that I go to work so he doesn't sleep the morning away and skip breakfast.
I recieved some dissappointing news today from one of the insurance situations we're battling with. There are actually three different insurance policies we're constantly dealing with.....#1 medical insurance (CHIP) #2 long term disability insurance and #3 Mike's life insurance policy he had originally from Goody's. The life insurance company is doing everything in their power to dissolve our policy with them...due to Goody's closing. Of course you can imagine how important this is in our situation. We have been paying high premiums to convert this policy and keep it. They have strung us along for over several months now leading us to believe if we just do one more thing....everything will be taken care of.
Well today, a person returned my call from last week. I was inquiring why a check of mine hadn't cleared the bank and she let it out unofficially, that they were pretty sure they would refuse this request, due to a time frame issue. They claim the policy needed to be in activation for five years to be converted. I quickly spoke up and told them Mike had been with Goody's for 8 years. They came back to me, saying Goody's didn't always have the same provider for that length of time. She ended the conversation with me saying that the final decision would be decided by the manager, and I would receive a letter, or the return of our money. I've done EVERYTHING they have asked me to do...and to end up with this......... It's just exhausting! What power do I have to go up against this kind of nonsense?!! I'm just ready to lay it all down and walk away from it. The stress from it all is just overwhelming me.
On the medical insurance side of things, our caseworker is trying to work things out with approving Mike for speech therapy...although it feels more like she's just spinning her wheels and going nowhere. I made another attempt to call this contact at the hospital and still was put into their voicemail and received no return call. But...others are involving themselves, that might be able to help get something done..if nothing more than a return phone call. I'm trying not to lose hope.
So...this is where we are at today. We covet your prayers.
In describing to the doctor the issue concerning Mike's eyes dripping continous tears in the evening, he told us if the antibiotic eye medication wasn't helping, we need to see an eye doctor to check things out further. Mike wants to wait it out, of course.
Mike only weighed 120.5 pounds on the clinics scale today. He is eating the best he can, especially when I'm home. I try to make sure he is eating at least three meals a day, but it's always something with gravy or lots of liquid, that's the easiest for him to swallow. I'm just going to need to be creative in getting him up and moving on days that I go to work so he doesn't sleep the morning away and skip breakfast.
I recieved some dissappointing news today from one of the insurance situations we're battling with. There are actually three different insurance policies we're constantly dealing with.....#1 medical insurance (CHIP) #2 long term disability insurance and #3 Mike's life insurance policy he had originally from Goody's. The life insurance company is doing everything in their power to dissolve our policy with them...due to Goody's closing. Of course you can imagine how important this is in our situation. We have been paying high premiums to convert this policy and keep it. They have strung us along for over several months now leading us to believe if we just do one more thing....everything will be taken care of.
Well today, a person returned my call from last week. I was inquiring why a check of mine hadn't cleared the bank and she let it out unofficially, that they were pretty sure they would refuse this request, due to a time frame issue. They claim the policy needed to be in activation for five years to be converted. I quickly spoke up and told them Mike had been with Goody's for 8 years. They came back to me, saying Goody's didn't always have the same provider for that length of time. She ended the conversation with me saying that the final decision would be decided by the manager, and I would receive a letter, or the return of our money. I've done EVERYTHING they have asked me to do...and to end up with this......... It's just exhausting! What power do I have to go up against this kind of nonsense?!! I'm just ready to lay it all down and walk away from it. The stress from it all is just overwhelming me.
On the medical insurance side of things, our caseworker is trying to work things out with approving Mike for speech therapy...although it feels more like she's just spinning her wheels and going nowhere. I made another attempt to call this contact at the hospital and still was put into their voicemail and received no return call. But...others are involving themselves, that might be able to help get something done..if nothing more than a return phone call. I'm trying not to lose hope.
So...this is where we are at today. We covet your prayers.
11.02.2009
You might be thinking....FINALLY, an update!!! To be completely honest, I haven't had trouble blogging. I have had trouble sending what I have written and this post may end up the same way.
There is a lot going on behind the scenes. I'm trying to come to terms with it all myself. Being fully transparent is a little painful and uncomfortable at times. But we depend on everyones prayers and support so much, and in order for you to know how to pray, we need to lay things out.
Mike is doing well, as far as tubes, infection and pain level go. I'm so thankful for the blessings of all of those areas working well. We are still having trouble with eating, swallowing, physical energy and endurance, cognitive thinking, coordination and outlook. As we deal with all of these issues, we run into further hurdles such as time management, coping, etc. We are becoming more comfortable with utilizing help better, such as wheelchairs/scooters, handicap parking places, letting things slide, etc. You reach a point when pride has to be kicked to the side and you get a full lesson on humility.
I'm frustrated dealing with insurance companies, medical professionals, and billing offices. Everything seems to require a special explanation or it doesn't "qualify" for payment or coverage. And how many signatures does it take to get a process going? It almost feels at times that they are doing everything possible to mess me up, so that they can't be held responsible to do what we pay them good money to do. Not only is my mind on the daily battles with Mike's health, but I'm also suppose to juggle all of these companies "policies" or "specifications", or I'm the one held at fault. Why can't they get it, that I may have my mind on a million other things more important right now.
Mike really needs this speech therapy. I'm to the point that I don't care how much it cost....he NEEDS it! He can't swallow food and he is losing weight. We're not talking about a spa treatment! No one will call me back. No one will give me a cash price. I've been told several times it isn't covered by our insurance....but no one will help me get a cash price! Insurance companies or hospital! I'm so tired of fighting these kind of battles. At least give me the courtesy of a return phone call.
Tomorrow Mike has an appointment with our family doctor to have his abdominal tube stitched in tighter. We're hoping we can get that leakage to stop. We also hope to get help with why Mike's eyes are just pouring tears for no reason at all. We have antibiotic eye drops, but there must be another problem going on. We're also having some other issues developing due to Mike's ammonia level built up in his blood. Those symptoms can be a little alarming because Mike can fade in and out of coherency. They can bring on tremors, lack of coordination, excessive sleepiness, mind lapses, etc. These moments can be some of the hardest for me to live with and deal with. I'm never sure if Mike's okay to be left alone or not.
So, here I am again wondering if I should hit the button, "publish post", or hit "delete". Is this really what everyone wants to know or hear? I guess all I can answer, is that this is my life right now...and Mike's. I hope it shares enough information for you to know how to keep praying for us, because God's mercy and your prayers are the only thing that have brought us this far. We need that more than the medical help any professional could provide, or any insurance provider could issue to us. It is helping us keep one foot in front of the other. But boy would I give anything just to lay this nightmare aside and live normally again. You can not believe how homesick I am for our old life. To have one of Mike's big old bear hugs. To dream and plan for our future together. This weight hanging over our heads is heavy and exhausting.
There is a lot going on behind the scenes. I'm trying to come to terms with it all myself. Being fully transparent is a little painful and uncomfortable at times. But we depend on everyones prayers and support so much, and in order for you to know how to pray, we need to lay things out.
Mike is doing well, as far as tubes, infection and pain level go. I'm so thankful for the blessings of all of those areas working well. We are still having trouble with eating, swallowing, physical energy and endurance, cognitive thinking, coordination and outlook. As we deal with all of these issues, we run into further hurdles such as time management, coping, etc. We are becoming more comfortable with utilizing help better, such as wheelchairs/scooters, handicap parking places, letting things slide, etc. You reach a point when pride has to be kicked to the side and you get a full lesson on humility.
I'm frustrated dealing with insurance companies, medical professionals, and billing offices. Everything seems to require a special explanation or it doesn't "qualify" for payment or coverage. And how many signatures does it take to get a process going? It almost feels at times that they are doing everything possible to mess me up, so that they can't be held responsible to do what we pay them good money to do. Not only is my mind on the daily battles with Mike's health, but I'm also suppose to juggle all of these companies "policies" or "specifications", or I'm the one held at fault. Why can't they get it, that I may have my mind on a million other things more important right now.
Mike really needs this speech therapy. I'm to the point that I don't care how much it cost....he NEEDS it! He can't swallow food and he is losing weight. We're not talking about a spa treatment! No one will call me back. No one will give me a cash price. I've been told several times it isn't covered by our insurance....but no one will help me get a cash price! Insurance companies or hospital! I'm so tired of fighting these kind of battles. At least give me the courtesy of a return phone call.
Tomorrow Mike has an appointment with our family doctor to have his abdominal tube stitched in tighter. We're hoping we can get that leakage to stop. We also hope to get help with why Mike's eyes are just pouring tears for no reason at all. We have antibiotic eye drops, but there must be another problem going on. We're also having some other issues developing due to Mike's ammonia level built up in his blood. Those symptoms can be a little alarming because Mike can fade in and out of coherency. They can bring on tremors, lack of coordination, excessive sleepiness, mind lapses, etc. These moments can be some of the hardest for me to live with and deal with. I'm never sure if Mike's okay to be left alone or not.
So, here I am again wondering if I should hit the button, "publish post", or hit "delete". Is this really what everyone wants to know or hear? I guess all I can answer, is that this is my life right now...and Mike's. I hope it shares enough information for you to know how to keep praying for us, because God's mercy and your prayers are the only thing that have brought us this far. We need that more than the medical help any professional could provide, or any insurance provider could issue to us. It is helping us keep one foot in front of the other. But boy would I give anything just to lay this nightmare aside and live normally again. You can not believe how homesick I am for our old life. To have one of Mike's big old bear hugs. To dream and plan for our future together. This weight hanging over our heads is heavy and exhausting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)