"Ever Have One of Those Days?"

Christmas 2010.....Continued at Matt's house Monday

Christmas 2010

"Breath of Heaven" Sung by Point of Grace

I have traveled
Many moonless nights
Cold and Weary
With a babe inside


And I wonder
What I've done
Holy Father
You have come


And chosen me now
To carry your son


I am waiting
in a silent prayer
I am frightened
by the load I bear


In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now


[chorus:]
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven


Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holiness
For you are holy, Breath of Heaven


Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer...all I am


For the mercy-of your plan
Help me be strong


Help me be
Help me


[chorus]

You Are Not the Same

Day 384

You are not the same person you were before. Too much has changed within and without. Do not try to fall back into the same patterns because you will only struggle to fit into a lifestyle that no longer fits. In order to live this new life, you must first identify the areas of your life that you struggle with, and then take steps to learn how to move forward in those areas. For instance, you might find yourself in new situations that you are not comfortable in without your loved one, or you might have new responsibilities that you do not know how to fulfill because your loved one used to take care of them for you.

Here is where you need to grow. God will provide what you need to experience true growth. Pray for wisdom as you develop new patterns of living.

Gretchen says, "My husband could talk to anybody about anything for any length of time, and I just always let him do it. I wasn't a big talker, but the Lord gave me some of that talking ability after he died. And I've been grateful for that because I was very happy in just letting my husband carry the conversation with people. Now, every time I go to something that I really wished I didn't have to go to, I just call on the Lord. The Lord is so faithful. Every single time I get through it and wind up enjoying it."

By God's grace you can be changed. You do not have to try and be the person you were before, because that is not possible. Instead . . .

"Put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:10).

Lord, even though I don't necessarily want to change, I know that I must. Give me confidence and wisdom in the areas that I struggle with. Amen.

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Suggested reading from the GriefShare HelpCenter

Embracing Life Again
by Gwen Bagne

Rough time of year!!  Could use some extra prayers and understanding!!  What you see on the outside isn't always what you are on the inside.

Traditions

Faith Keepers Christmas Party

So, last Saturday evening was our Faith Keepers Christmas party.  The food was DELICIOUS!!!!  Glenn opened his home for the event.  There he is guarding the chocolate dipped strawberries.  Dessert also included a huge ice cream cake! YUM YUM!

  I dusted off the old Gesture's game, which is quite a lot like charades.  The below photo, is Frieda, trying to act out a clue.  She surprised us right from the start, trying to act out a clue....such as belly dancing.  My mind was scrambling how to keep this game a G rated event.  She was a hoot!

Brooke and Shane were the youngsters of the group.  They played Gestures......but when it came to line dancing......hmmmm  :{

Joe and Brenda were very good acting out their parts.  I got the feeling they had some history playing these kind of games before.  For me....it took me forever to figure out my clues.  A couple of them would doze off...while they waited. (just kidding)  I kept trying to explain the hostess wasn't suppose to play the game...but they wouldn't let me use that excuse. 

Get a load of those sparks shooting from Glenn's head!  He was reenacting a lightening strike!  (Just kidding again!  I guess the camera was doing some kind of reflection thing off his TV.)

Obviously, Brenda found one of the clues embarrassing or outrageous!

So.......

Following Gestures, we decided to learn a little line dancing.  First we watched brief instructions on how to do the Electric Slide from a DVD I purchased...and then we added the Macarena.  I embarrassingly (is that another word I've just made up?) stayed in front of them to help them follow me...being I had been practicing for a couple of months.  How embarrassing!

The picture below is Frieda getting her groove thing on! 

You go girl!!!

And look what a good sport Joe was!  I hope he doesn't kill me later for posting this! Sorrrrrry Joe! :-)

 Glenn got a little camera crazy and caught me getting into the swing of things a little. 
The camera was taken away from him shorty there after!

It was a lot of fun and it's always special getting together with friends laughing.

God has taught me a lot this year.  To stand alone (a huge feat in itself).  To face the giant; my introverted-ness (if there is such a word).  To have courage to get out of my comfort zone.  To make my own happiness.

But most of all, He has brought sweet friends into my life, who know the Lord, and whom I greatly respect.  I empathize with them; as only widow or widowers can.  Trying to find a way to go on living without our loved ones, is much harder that I ever imagined.  The pain of that love lost, continually resonates through your daily life, in so many little reminders.  It takes awhile to accept your new reality and find your way to your "new normal." 

Lord, I trust you with all of my tomorrows.  I'm grateful You have placed so many dear friends and family in my pathway.  They have prayed with me.  Laughed with me.  Cried with me.  Help us all to continue fighting our way through this darkness.  Friends, I wish you all the best these next few months. 

Have a very blessed Christmas!!!

Beverly

An Officer and a Gentleman

If you were to ask me 10 years ago, where I would be today, I would have answered, "Right at Mike's side, having a blast, as usual!"  We spent 35 happy years together, with EVERY intention on celebrating 50 years, and beyond!  But life, throws obstacles in your way, at times, and you are forced into a direction so far away from what you would have ever thought. 

Losing Mike to cancer in 2009 was one of those obstacles that reversed my dreams forever.  The children, grandchildren, family and I, are still trying to deal with that loss.  Our prayers were not answered for Mike's complete healing here on earth.  We've had to accept an alternate plan, and trust in God's sovereignty.  We know Mike is in a better place, and we know he is in heaven, and we look forward to our reunion with him one day.  But the process of loss has brought feelings into our lives that we've needed to adust to, and to say things have been difficult, would be putting it mildly!  We've had to exercise mercy and grace in ways never imagined.  Individually, we have all tried to pick ourselves up, and go on, as best we could as Mike would have wanted us to. 

I struggled deeply with loneliness and depression this past year.  At times,  I wanted to check out, just to be with Mike.  I came to a place where, I needed to decide, do I shut down completely, or get up, and move forward anyway I can? Many widows are content living a life alone.  But, because of my deep love for Mike, and the intense friendship we shared, I longed for companionship deeply.  I didn't want to be a lifetime burden to my children.  I wanted them to keep going after their own dreams and living their own lives.  I wanted and needed someone who understood exactly where I was coming from.  That is where "Faith Keepers" came in to play.

"Faith Keepers", is a singles group, I formed to help others and myself.  It has been a small group of about 12-15 people, meeting occasionally over the last year.  We have eaten out together, gone bowling, played minature golf, walked through a corn maize and went on a hayride, learned some line dances, played some games, and just plain socialized outside of church.  But we've also had opportunities to get alone, to share our grief stories with one another, and find common ground and caring hearts.

Not intending on finding friendship; let alone love again; I became close friends with an "Officer and a Gentleman," named Glenn, who lost his wife of 30 years after a lengthy illness.  I met him through the church where I work.  He stopped by to visit the pastor, knew I had lost my husband, and we sat together and chatted, trying to be supportive to one another.  He decided to take a "Grief Share" class with me at another local church, and began coming to our "Faith Keepers'" activities.  We quickly became good friends.  Over time, we developed a deeper friendship and trust.  We traveled to Florida together, to take some time just to heal from the past year, and relax...and our relationship grew even more.

Glenn is retired from the Navy.  He has been all over the world and I enjoy spending hours listening to all of his stories.  He has four grown children, four children-in-law, and six grandchildren.  He loves serving at his church, working in the sound booth, and his hobby at home, is wood-working.  He makes some beautiful pieces of furniture.  More importantly, he is a Christian with a huge heart!!!  He adores children and I've rarely seen him without a smile on his face.  He has been such a blessing to me.

We have been dating for several months now and our relationship is growing deeper.  He will always love his wife, and I will always love Mike...but we both believe deep in our heart God has placed us together for a greater purpose, and Mike and Doris would support our happiness. 

We would appreciate your prayers as we continue to follow God's leading in our relationship, and we pray you will support us, and be happy along with us, as God turns our "mourning into dancing."  

"God's famous promise to us is that in His kingdom, there is no hurting or mourning or tears. In His kingom, He will comfort us, wipe away our tears, and heal our deepest wounds." 

"God not only lifts our sorrow and despair, but he gives us a new reason to rejoice and be happy. This verse praises God for transforming despair into dancing." Psalm 30:11